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You'd go out with Remus Lupin, right?
OC & Remus L. - Words: 183,155 - Rated: T - English - Humor & Romance - Chapters: 37 - Reviews: 537 - Updated: 11-01-2017 - Published: 27-05-2014 - by takethefirewhiskyandrun (FFN)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter characters or universe.

A/N: I had never really thought about writing a Remus/OC story before because I wholeheartedly support his canon pairing with Tonks. But, I was recently re-reading the extra stuff JK Rowling wrote about Remus on Pottermore and the description of the scene where he and Tonks get together gave me my prompt for this story. In particular - it was the line where Remus says of Sirius, "He always got the women". To you Bottle-Specs readers, I'm still going to post the Lily spin-off, but right now this is the plot that's been inspiring me, so I hope you'll enjoy - it's quite different from anything else you've read from me.

Anyway - here goes!


You'd go out with Remus Lupin, right?

Chapter One: I hated being called dramatic

"Just leave me alone," I sighed, pulling my hand free from his and continuing down the corridor at what I hoped was a normal and non-dramatic pace. I was so sick of being dramatic and loud and causing a scene because of him. He always did this. Every time I turned my bloody back he seemed to be flirting with someone else. There were only so many times I could let myself go through this.

"Kate, please will you stop running?" Sirius asked, clutching at a stitch in his side as he fell back in step with me.

"I'm not running. I'm walking at a brisk pace," I replied, hurrying up the staircase and adjusting the strap on my bag so it wouldn't fall off my shoulder.

"Yes! You are. I've been running after you since the Quidditch Pitch and I'm tired," he groaned. "James had us flying up and down the length of the Pitch for hours."

"Oh cry me a river," I muttered, turning sharply and almost losing him. He had to double back and change direction but as always, he managed to keep up. I could start sprinting but that would have meant more theatrics and I was really trying to stop all that.

"We were just talking. She was saying she liked my bat and I was only being polite," he continued to blabber.

"Yes, I'm sure she loved your bat."

He laughed and I sighed as we finally reached the hallway I'd been searching for. Just ten more feet and I would be rid of the ponce.

"I was just trying to be nice!" he said, once again grabbing my wrist.

I fought not to shriek. I took a nice calming breath and looked at him coolly.

"Sirius, if I have to hear about you 'being nice' one more time, I might lose my head and start shooting off Unforgivables at random. So please, just leave me alone."

"You are being so melodramatic right now," he said in frustration, running his hands through that gorgeous mass of hair. Urghh. I hated being called dramatic! I'd hardly ever been described as dramatic before I started going out with him. Okay, maybe once or twice – but never as bad as now. He made me this way – he made me an insane person who ran through hallways threatening to curse everyone in my way.

"Go away!" I exclaimed again, finally reaching the handle to my safe haven and throwing open the doors. He followed me in, obviously distracted enough to forget where I was leading him.

"You are IMPOSSIBLE!" he yelled before shutting his mouth tightly. I bit back a laugh as we looked at the curious faces staring at us from around the Library. There. That would teach him for calling me dramatic – now he looked like the bloody drama queen.

"Ah," he said smiling sheepishly, sticking his hands in his pockets and throwing me a glare.

"You!" Pince was stalking towards us now, thankfully ignoring me because her eyes were fixed on Sirius beside me. He looked slightly alarmed and grimaced at me again as I smiled.

"OUT!" she yelled, angrily shoving me out of the way and pushing against his chest. She looked very small next to him, but even so, her strength was impressive as Sirius muttered and backed away to the exit.

"But Miss…I have an essay…" he was saying as she pushed him through the doors and out of the Library. I breathed a sigh of relief and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear as I sent the watching crowd an awkward grin. I put a finger to my lips and tiptoed to the tables in the back, thanking my lucky stars for the Library. Sirius had been banned from it since the first week of term, so it was quite literally the only place I could escape him, save the girls' bathrooms or dormitories. Even those, I'm sure he could easily find a way in to. Thank Merlin for Pince and her vendetta against him.

Remus and Peter were sitting at the table all the way in the back with their books spread all over the table. They were grinning at me knowingly however, and I tried to look calm and collected as I took a seat and banged my bag on to the last empty chair. And then, I slammed my forehead down hard on to the table. So much for not being dramatic. I could hear the two boys chuckling and I groaned in to the wood.

"Stop laughing."

"Was that Sirius?" Peter asked, when I sat up.

"Course it was," Remus said, shaking his head and turning a page in his textbook. "Why do you think she looks like a tomato right now?"

"Why are you friends with that idiot?" I said, angrily pulling my own book out of my bag. "Honestly, he has to be the most self-absorbed, oblivious, insensitive prick I have ever known."

"It's a good thing you're going out with him then," Remus smiled, writing some more words on his parchment and mostly ignoring me.

"It's only because you're going out with him that you think that," Peter said. "Mostly he's the best."

I narrowed my eyes at him and huffed. "Oh why don't you marry him?"

Peter rolled his eyes and went back to work while Remus chuckled.

"Peter's right you know. He is decent most of the time. Even you know that," he said.

I wanted to throw my inkbottle at him. Of course I knew that. I got along perfectly well with Sirius until we started going out at the end of last year. It was only once I was his girlfriend that things got complicated.

"Well I'm not going out with him now and as far as I can tell, he's still a self-centered, DIS–"

"We get it Kate!" Remus said, exchanging a look with Peter, who put a finger by his head and moved it in circles. I stuck my tongue out at him childishly.

"Do you know what he was doing?" I asked, grabbing Remus' quill so he couldn't pretend to work again.

"Flirting with some other girl?" Remus asked lightly, stretching his arms over his head.

"You heard?"

He chuckled and pulled his quill from my grasp. "Kate, I've had this conversation with you a hundred times. Before you started dating him, after you started dating him…"

"After you broke up over the summer," Peter put in.

Remus nodded. "After you got back together. Honestly, I could have this conversation with you in my sleep."

"I think everyone could," Peter said.

I glared at the two of them as they got back to work and twirled my quill between my fingers. They were so annoying. And right, obviously. But still! At least if it were Lily or Dorcas they would pretend to feel bad for me for like five minutes. Being friends with blokes wasn't the same – especially not these blokes. They made light of everything – which was shocking considering how much drama they'd caused in my life since I'd become friends with them.

It had actually started with Remus. Lily, Dorcas and I had just been on civil terms with the four Gryffindor boys in our year. Not enemies, not friends – just classmates. James had a huge crush on Lily for all of last year, but she had always thought he was too arrogant to ever consider him anything but an annoyance. Plus, he had a habit of bullying her then-mate Severus Snape. Dorcas and I hadn't fought with them the same way as Lily did, but we also didn't pay them much notice. And we were probably the only girls in the school who didn't. The girls in the years below us were obsessed – followed them around like they were a gift from Morgana herself. The older students were less enthusiastic – but even they liked the Marauders because frankly, they were fun. They pulled off amusing jokes when they weren't being bullying berks and had a reputation for throwing the best after-Quidditch parties ever.

Remus had always been the only one Lily could stand, since they were Prefects together and so, sometimes he did homework with us while the others were off gallivanting or causing trouble or whatever. And then Remus and I had discovered our mutual love for The Ghouls. Since Lily was a Muggleborn and Dorcas' idea of good music was Celestina Warbeck, they didn't know about the band, so Remus was the first person I knew who liked more than just their mainstream stuff. We spent hours discussing the progression between their records and writing bad songs based on their styles late in to the night. Neither of us could sing, but that didn't matter – we had a blast coming up with odd bits of poetry and giant schemes to follow the band on tour over the summer. We became oddly close very quickly, the way you never expect to with someone new, but soon I considered him to be a friend in the same league as Dorcas and Lily. I wasn't sure he felt quite the same about me – after all, the Marauders were mysteriously overprotective of one another. You got the feeling they'd take an Avada for each other – and although that seemed nice in theory, I wasn't entirely sure I would be brave enough to do the same with my friends.

And then because I was spending all this time with Remus, suddenly his friends were interested in me too. Sirius, who I'd always seen as a bit of a moody head case, actually turned out to be much more hilarious than I'd realized. And although Remus had most definitely become a close friend, Sirius and I had started to flirt. We were both a little too loud and inappropriate for poor Remus – the things that made him blush and mumble made Sirius and I laugh hysterically and after a bit of beating around the bush – he'd asked me out right before OWLs. We'd had a few blissful months before I went to visit him at James' over the summer and I'd gone out to a nightclub with the four of them. That's when it started – the flirting with the other girls and the lame excuses. We broke up and I spent two weeks crying before he turned up on my doorstep a week before we were due back at Hogwarts. Since my parents were out of town and my sister was at some ridiculously swotty conference for future leaders, we'd spent two days making up and were strong as ever by the time we got back to Hogwarts. And then it happened again. We were full to the brim of drama, but there was also a lot of heat between us and no matter how much I knew we shouldn't be together – we still kept getting back together. So, I really couldn't blame Remus, or Peter, or Lily or anyone for rolling their eyes when I complained about him. They were used to it by now.

"What are you working on then?" I said, kicking Remus under the table.

"Defence."

"Can I copy?" I grinned.

"No," he said, rolling his eyes and turning a page in his textbook. "You'll never learn anything if you always copy off Lily and I."

"Lily never lets me copy either," I said, folding my arms. "Being friends with the two of you is like being friends with Albus and Minerva."

He laughed. "I didn't know you were on a first name basis."

"Oh yeah, just yesterday we met up at The Three Broomsticks and painted each other's toenails," I said, still twirling my quill in my hand. "Speaking of…what are you lot doing for Hogsmeade this weekend?"

Remus shrugged and glanced at Peter who was drawing a diagram with his tongue between his teeth.

"Not sure – I guess now that you and Sirius are broken up, we'll probably have a bloke's day."

"Yeah, firewhisky!" Peter said, not looking up from his drawing.

"Well I guess the girls and I will be having a hen night then," I said. "Want to come?"

The two boys looked at me blankly and I laughed. Sometimes I just couldn't stop the words before they left my mouth. Remus and Peter once again exchanged a look of disdain before returning to their work. Feeling more annoyed than ever, I started to drum a random beat on the table and practiced my whistling. I was useless at it – I could hardly make a sound come out, but Remus had attempted to teach me last week and now I was at least capable of making breathy high pitched squeaks from time to time.

I heard Peter slam his book shut and Remus sigh and when I looked back at them, they were both putting their things into their bags. Had they finished their essays already? I wondered if Remus might let me read through his just to get an idea of what I was doing. He was alarmingly organized and Peter looked impatient as Remus sorted through his rolls of parchment and put them neatly in his bag.

"We're going to the Common Room," he finally said as he slung his bag on to his shoulder and looked down at me. "Want to come?"

"Have you finished the Defence homework already?"

Peter clicked his tongue and Remus smiled patiently. "I can't get any work done while you're practicing whistling. Honestly Kate, you sound like a dying bird."

"Yes, come to the common room where it'll be loud enough to drown you out," Peter said. "It's just embarrassing here."

"But he'll probably be there," I sighed. "And if no one will let me copy, I should probably work on my essay."

Peter harrumphed and waved goodbye, leaving Remus to shake his head in that wise and condescending way of his.

"You are hopeless," he said, nudging my knee. "Work on the essay in the common room. And work it out with Sirius. I can't handle his moaning on top of yours."

"Hey! Didn't you say you might ask Emmeline to Hogsmeade? What happened there?" I asked as I picked up my bag and deflected his comment about the prat.

He shrugged. "I don't know. She used to go out with him – he might be mad."

I laughed and shook my head as we made our way out of the Library. I pointedly ignored Madam Pince because I was almost sure if she recognized me, she'd ban me too.

"He doesn't care enough to be mad," I laughed. "You and I could start snogging right now and he probably still wouldn't care."

When he didn't answer, I turned to see him blushing and immediately felt bad. I frequently forgot that he didn't like to discuss snogging or anything like that out loud. He was far too proper, or shy, or whatever. Sometimes I wondered if he'd actually ever snogged anyone, but I didn't want to ask – it would've embarrassed him. Remus was the sweetest, gentlest, most chivalrous bloke I knew, but he was also so innocent, it was silly. He blushed every time he walked in on Sirius and I kissing in their dormitory, and it had happened at least twelve times already. Still, he had a great sense of humour and was certainly good-looking, so I wondered if the only thing holding him back from getting a girlfriend was his self-esteem. I had no idea why he was so self deprecating all the time – maybe because he was ill frequently or was often overshadowed by Sirius and James. But we were going to be of age soon and if he didn't get himself some experience soon, I was starting to think that I'd need to take matters in to my own hands. If there was anyone who deserved happiness, it was Remus.

When we got to the Common Room, the ridiculous prat was lounging by the fire watching James and Peter play Snap with a broody expression on his face. I nodded goodbye to Remus and headed to Lily and Dorcas without looking back at the sofas by the fire. My friends looked like they were working on the Defence essay, so I got my book out and pretended to read, hoping I'd be able to get them to talk through some of the main points.

"So, you two broke up again?" Lily said without looking up from the page she was reading.

Dorcas scratched her head with her quill. "Hang on, weren't you already broken up?"

"No," Lily replied, shaking her head. "Remember, they made up over the summer? There was that fight last week, but they worked it out."

"Ah yes, sorry!" Dorcas smiled at me. "I can't keep up with you two."

I rolled my eyes and wrote my name at the top of my scroll of parchment. Hmm. What next? I underlined my name and wrote the date beside it.

"Stop making us sound like we break up every day. Obviously, we don't break up every day. Sometimes we fight every day, but we don't always break up. We're not that ridiculous," I said, sneaking a peek at the top of Dorcas' essay and starting to reword her first sentence.

"Yeah, I suppose the very dramatic announcements of another break up threw us off," Lily said, leaning back and stretching like a cat. I made a face at my parchment and subtly tried to move Dorcas' essay to face me.

"Kate, I'm doing the Transfiguration homework," she laughed, snatching her parchment away from me.

Oh sod it. I growled as I crossed out my sentence and looked at the Defence textbook. Now I'd actually have to put some effort in. It's not that I wasn't capable of writing my essay by myself – I was just so lazy! And I also had the idiot on my mind.

"Kate, can we talk now?" Sirius asked, his voice full of that annoying, attractive smugness.

"Well, I don't know about you…but I have been able to talk for over fifteen years – longer maybe. I was an early developer," I said snippily, concentrating on writing my first sentence.

"Yeah, I remember noticing," Sirius said slyly, and even as my friends groaned, I couldn't help but fall in to a grin.

"Go away," I said, forcing a frown back on my face. "You're not funny."

"Why don't you both go away so we can get some work done?" Lily said, elbowing me hard and forcing me to almost fall from my chair. Sirius, of course caught me in that irritating, gallant way of his. He flicked the lock of hair off his eyes and I held back a sigh. Why did he have to look so good all the time?

"Come on," he whispered, our fingers locking together as he stared in to my eyes.

I never did have much will power.

We'd been snogging in his bed for almost an hour before the boys interrupted us.

"AGHH My eyes!" James shrieked like a five-year-old.

Sirius sat in front of me so I could straighten my shirt and I laughed as I saw James covering his eyes, Remus blushing and looking at the floor and Peter staring openly.

"Oh take a picture, Peter!" I said, fluffing up my hair and settling back against Sirius' pillows. He joined me, throwing an arm over my shoulders and kissing my temple.

Peter stuck his tongue out at me and disappeared in to the bathroom while James made his way to his bed beside Sirius' and flopped down on to his back.

"We'll come back," Remus spluttered awkwardly. Aw, he looked so sweet trying not to look. Not like that lecher Peter.

"Nah mate, we're done," Sirius said stretching.

"Ugh you pig," I said, shrugging his arm off my shoulder and grimacing as he laughed.

"So Kate, Lily said she's going to Hogsmeade with someone already, any clue who it is?" James asked casually, rolling on to his side to look at me.

"Hmm…might be Amos Diggory. Or Timothy White. Oh wait, maybe Charlus Doxy," I said, playing with the ends of my hair. I had some awful split ends – time for another haircut. I smiled to myself as I heard James spluttering and finally rolled my eyes to put him out of his misery.

"Chill James," I said, sitting up and tying my hair up on my head. "She's just going with Dorcas and I."

I heard his sigh of relief and then felt his pillow hit my head. I laughed and threw it back at him.

"At least she was nice about it for once," Sirius shrugged. "First time for everything, I suppose."

"Hey! That's my best mate!"

"And he's mine," Sirius replied. "She could give him a chance – just look at the sad sap."

We both turned to see James staring forlornly up at the canopy over his four-poster sighing to himself.

"Prongs, maybe you should back off a bit. She doesn't hate you anymore, but if you keep asking her every spare moment, she's going to start seeing it as a bit of a joke," Remus said, patting his shoulder as he packed his school bag for the next day. Honestly the boy was so organized, it hurt – and how did it take so much time when he already spent every moment packing and repacking it?

"That's brilliant advice Remus – listen to your friends, James," I said, getting up from Sirius' bed and stretching. "Want to walk me to my dormitory, loser?"

Sirius groaned. "Really? You want me to walk you all the way downstairs and two feet across the room, just so I can watch you walk up another set of staircases before I have to just turn around and come back again?"

"Yup," I nodded.

He sighed. "You are a pain in my arse."

"You love it."

"Get out of here Kate," James groaned and Sirius barked his laugh.

"Come on then," he said, grabbing my hand and marching me to the door.

"See you in the morning," Remus called.

"Sirius?" I said when we reached the bottom of the girls' staircases. The common room was empty now – everyone was still getting used to being back at school and were in bed before midnight – even though we'd been here a month already.

Sirius looked exasperated with me but nodded through a yawn.

"Has Remus ever had a girlfriend?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No. You know that."

"Yeah," I said, fiddling with the end of the bannister. "But, I mean…has he ever kissed anyone?"

Sirius shrugged. "No idea."

"What?" I demanded. "You're his mate!"

"So are you! Why are you asking me?"

"Well I'm his girl mate – he might not tell me the same things as you."

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his gorgeous hair. "Honestly Kate, we don't talk about that kind of thing."

I gave him a skeptical look. "You don't tell them how far you've got with me?"

He laughed sheepishly and nodded. "Course I have. I mean…if it happens, sure we'll run through the quick and dirty version – but if it hasn't…then we just don't talk about it."

"So, what you're saying is, he's never kissed anyone before?"

Sirius sighed and sat on the bottom step, groaning as the stairs turned in to a slide. He leaned his head back and hit it against the marble a couple of times. "Every. Bloody. Time."

"Well?" I pressed, joining him at the bottom of the slide.

"Well, I suppose, no. He hasn't. But who cares? He'll get to it eventually."

"Mmmhmm," I said thoughtfully, tapping my lips.

"Oh no," Sirius said shutting his eyes and then covering them with his hands for good measure.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You've got that look," he said, peeking out from between his fingers.

"Moi?" I asked, twirling my hair around my finger.

"Vous!" he said. "You've got that Katie-look."

"Don't call me Katie!" I said in annoyance. "Kate is already a nickname – there's absolutely no sense is adding an extra letter and lengthening it again. Besides it makes me sound like a three-year-old."

He laughed. "It's your alter ego's name – for when you're being particularly diabolical. That look – it means you've got a really awful idea that you'll probably coerce me into helping you with."

"Wellll," I said, smiling. "I was thinking that we should help Remus, maybe."

"No."

"Aw come on Sirius, just a little nudge in the right direction. Did you know that he didn't ask Emmeline to Hogsmeade because he thought you would be mad?"

He frowned. "Really? Why would he think that?"

"Because you used to go out with her and he is a very nice and considerate boy, unlike others I know," I said, shoving his shoulder. He closed his eyes again and shook his head.

"I'll talk to him."

"He still probably won't ask her though," I said and Sirius did his weird scoff-laugh.

"Leave the poor bloke alone. He's just nervous."

"Exactly! He's so painfully shy – no one will ever see how brilliant he is if he doesn't put himself out there. That's why we should help!"

"I want no part in your madness, thank you," Sirius said sitting up. "Now shut up, kiss me, and climb up this slide so I can check out your bum on the way up."

"How dare you!" I said, clutching my chest before accepting the peck on the lips and turning to climb up the side, covering my bum the whole way up.

When I heard his wolf-whistle, though, I couldn't help but smile.


A/N: So, I know it seems like a set-up for a love-triangle, but I won't be going that way with this story, which is why I haven't put Sirius in the pairing information. This is a pretty dramatic left turn from my last story, so I would love to hear what you think! Thanks for reading :)

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