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No Headlights in Paradise
James P. & Lily Evans P. - Words: 98,308 - Rated: M - English - Drama & Romance - Chapters: 9 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 13-02-2018 - Published: 21-06-2015 - by Danielle218 (FFN)

No Headlights in Paradise

Chapter 4 – So They Slipped

Song choice: Crazy In Love (2014 Remix) – Beyoncé

Time seemed to move into the next phase as Lily began to be caught up in her classes, studying and new friends. Although nothing thrilling or exceptional happened, Lily was having the time of her life. It's amazing what friends can do to a person. Waking up is easier, the excitement of the day awaits, and fun is beckoning at the front door.

Originally, Lily had assumed spending time with Smetty would be on the weird side, considering she had remained unsure about her feelings but Smetty proved to be her most solid companion and his pursuit of her was done in such subtle moves that Lily felt extraordinary relaxed in his presence. His gradual ease into her daily activities had Lily seriously reconsidering his place in her life to the point that maybe something should happen between them. Smetty was secure, and she could no longer deny that something developing between them could be healthy for her. Smetty was everything she needed… not what she wanted. And what she wanted, she would remind herself forcefully, was not something she needed.

As the weeks tucked away, Lily only had two more to figure out exactly what her plans would be over the month long Christmas holiday. Ever since her parents passed away, the holidays constantly felt like an exclusive choir of having to find somewhere to go, people to pretend to be happy with and the disappointment that her and Petunia were no longer close. Sienna had added to this sentiment with decorating every inch of their shared apartment with red and green lights that left their once breezy apartment looking like a Christmas elf had thrown up flashing lights and mistletoe everywhere (that had forced Lily and Sienna to kiss almost every single one of the boys, on the cheek in Lily's case).

As the hanging lights twinkled around her, Lily considered her limited options. The previous holidays, James invited her to his home and she spent her time being shuffled around Potter Manor, comforted by the warm hugs of Mrs. Potter and laughter of Mr. Potter. That was obviously not an option this year… She could go to her sister's but then decided being miserable and alone was a lot better option than sitting uncomfortably at Petunia's while being insulted. Another option, one that seemed more and more attractive, was renting an apartment in Muggle London. Travel London. It was a little girl's dream wasn't it?

"What are you daydreaming about?" Sienna asked as she plopped down next to Lily and held a mug of hot chocolate. She had a massive knitted scarf wrapped around her neck and leg warmer over her black leggings that allowed her painted red toes to peak out.

Lily sighed and leaned back into the corner of the couch snuggly. "Figuring out what I'll do for Christmas break."

Sienna scrunched her nose. "What? We're staying here. I was thinking of buying the tree after classes finished for the semester, what do you think?"

"Wh-What? I thought you were going home," Lily asked dumbfounded.

"Lily," Sienna said frowning. "I'm not going to leave you here alone."

Her matter of fact attitude, the notion she already decided her plans, and the way she looked at Lily as if she couldn't believe her audacity for asking her such a question had Lily launching into her arms and hugging her soundly. She heard Sienna's amusement but she hugged her back as long as Lily wanted. When she finally released her it was with light happiness that she listened to Sienna drabble about decorations and how they could transform this place into a winter wonderland.

"Unless you have another idea?" she said. "I'm pretty open for suggestions."

"I was thinking of getting out of Cornwall? Maybe travel somewhere?"

"YES," Sienna burst. "Yes! Let's do it. I can't believe I didn't think about it myself. Where were you thinking? Ugh, that's brills, Lily truly."

"I was thinking Muggle London? We can see Buckingham Palace or Tower of London..."

"YES! This is going to be the best trip ever!" Sienna jumped, and already started organizing everything they would need, listing places she could look for an apartment, and planning all the places they would visit. Lily took care in appreciating how Sienna took control, allowing Lily to relax and feel cared for.

And with all of her research and prodding, Sienna had found them an apartment within the week in Chelsea.

"Near all the sites and shopping!" she attested. "But close enough to Diagon Alley in case we need something or to keep us updated."

They sat together overlooking a map of London, ignoring the boys who laughed at their meticulous planning. They wrote down their plans, considered restaurants and stores they needed to visit and all the attractions they needed to go too. The giddy excitement in the air made the two girls have a countdown in their apartment that sparkled blue every day they got closer to Christmas break. The night before their departure, Lily found herself alone in the apartment as Sienna had decided to spend the night with Caleb that for some reason had Lily chortling.

She was reading a book, the candlelight in the room playing with the shapes on the wall when she heard a loud knock infiltrate her quiet surroundings. She got up, opening the door and instantly smiling at Smetty who stood gracefully in the entranceway.

"Hey," she said happily, letting him in and felt a small tingle in her stomach at his presence.

He walked in easily, giving her a one-arm hug but she wrapped both her arms around him and gave him a full on hug that seemed to surprise him.

"Want something to drink?" she asked as she started moving towards the kitchen but he stopped her.

"No thanks. Thought I would give you some company, and your Christmas present."

She stopped her movements and looked over at him startled before switching over to excited. "What? I don't getting yours yet!"

He laughed at her reaction as he pulled out a small box from his pocket and handed it to her. "You can give me yours after the holiday. But I saw this and figured 'good Christmas present, must give her.'"

She opened the small box and stared at it for a moment. Inside was long, thin gold chain and hanging at the very end was a silver doe who was yawning up at her and twisting around. Lily's heart struck as she moved her finger lightly to calm it and the doe seemed to still at her contact and recognize her. She looked up at Smetty in wonder at his touching gift.

"You mentioned your Patronus was a doe."

Lily nodded her head, too choked up to say anything. "Smetty, this is…"

He seemed very satisfied with his gift choosing abilities, and Lily almost wanted to smile at the irony but kept it to herself. Instead, she pulled the necklace over her head and a warm, comforting sensation spread throughout her body. She looked down and brought the doe closer to her eyes for inspection but no explanation was had.

"Thank you," she said, hugging him again.

"Now when you go off you'll have something to remember me by."

Lily released him and looked at him with raised eyebrows, "I don't need a gift to remember you, Smetty."

He seemed pleased by her answer but she didn't tell him that a necklace of a doe was the last possible way for her to remember him by. If anything all it made her think about was why her Patronus was a doe…

They chatted for a while, Lily drinking tea while he lounged on the couch. When it got late, Lily walked him to the door but he didn't turn right away but stared at her.

"Look, Lily. I didn't get you that with any expectations but I hope you're still considering me."

She gave him a coy smile and nodded her head. She kissed him softly on his cheek. "More and more each day."

He nodded gruffly. "Good."

"Happy Christmas, Smetty."

"Happy Christmas, Lily."

Lily could barely sit through her last class, and even though she assumed learning about ways in helping those infected with snake venom might be necessary one day by the time class was up Lily was bouncing in chair. She rushed from the classroom, almost colliding with Sienna who seemed to be in the exact same mood, and the two girls in the middle of the corridor started jumping and clapping. They came home, their belongings already packed with just a few minor immediate details and then they would be off. Vacation would happen and Lily would be free.

With their trunks laid in the middle of the living room, Lily was wondering what her level of stress would be when she came back after the holiday to remind herself that her and Sienna had left their apartment in total disarray.


"Yes," Lily answered as she picked up another dress. Would need more than four dresses? It would be cold, and she wasn't planning on having any dates or indulging in parties but then again Sienna would definitely want to go to as many pubs as possible. She folded the additional dress and put it in.

"You think you'll see James over Christmas break?"

The question snapped Lily out of her fashion trance, "What?"

"I was just wondering if you would see James during Christmas break?" she asked nonchalantly as she picked up her own dress and shoved it inside.

"I uh… I never really thought about it," the question and the thought confused Lily mainly because since Sirius had departed she had effectively worked on not thinking about James. Ever. "Why?"

Sienna shrugged much to casually for Lily's sake and she narrowed her eyes. "Sienna…"

"What?" she pouted and Lily couldn't help bursting laughing. Sienna was many things, sneaky was not one of them. "It's not like you to mention my heartbreak."

Sienna looked up guilty, finally rolling her eyes and giving in. "I was hoping to see Sirius again."

Now Lily was almost on the floor, clutching her stomach. "Sirius? Sienna!"

"Lily, it's not that funny," she grumbled but Lily couldn't stop laughing though she did calm down enough to look at her friend amused.

"Didn't you just spend the night at Caleb's?"

"Me and Caleb aren't like that," she huffed.

"You think he knows that?" Lily laughed as Sienna continued to glare at her.

"Yes," but then she paused, and looked truthfully at her, "I just can't stop thinking about him. Sirius, that is."

"Sienna," Lily comforted even though she couldn't stop her amusement. "You barely spent 24 hours with him. I don't even think it was 12."

"I know!" Sienna said. "But I just can't explain it and I've just wanted to bring it up so many times without being weird and I just couldn't. This is a mess. Sorry I brought up James."

"You don't need to be sorry," Lily chuckled as she came over to her friend and took her by the shoulders. "And I'm sorry to burst your bubble but I seriously doubt I will be your connection to Sirius. Especially not based on my relationship with James."

"Worth a try?" she laughed embarrassed.

But as Lily prepared for bed that evening she contemplated if she would see James. Even though she hated herself for thinking it, she hopelessly wished she would see him. She knew it wouldn't happen, convinced herself it wouldn't happen. He was in Auror training. He was busy. Living his life somewhere unknown. He didn't have time for Christmas. And as he proved to her the last seven months he didn't have time for Lily.

"Maybe time will tell…" she told the empty and open ceiling.

Time did prove to move very fast as Lily and Sienna took on Muggle London. Their first day there they had settled in, dressed up and went walking around Bond Street and Oxford Street, enjoying the shopping and Sienna pushing Lily to buy a few delicacy items. They ate fish and chips in an old but famous Muggle pub and were flattered by the attention from the young lads that seemed to follow them. The next day they walked around Buckingham Palace and the grounds, with Sienna daring Lily to Apparate into the castle. She seriously considered it until Sienna laughed at her worry and did it herself. Safe to say they were chased and probably almost arrested by Wizarding law if the Ministry worker hadn't been so enthralled by Sienna's flirting.

And each day went along those similar lines and each day Lily enjoyed her vacation more and more. They visited the Tower of London, the bridges and made a day of it at Windsor Palace. The cold year seemed to only encourage their travels and Lily had never felt more full, or content in her life.

The day before Christmas Eve they had decided to take a day off before they planned on celebrating the holiday in Hyde Park before exchanging presents in a pub someone had recommended to them. As such, Lily decided to visit Diagon Alley and fill up on some supplies and maybe buy a new pair of robes that wasn't black. Sienna lounged around instead, and Lily laughed as she waved her goodbye from her bed. She decided to walk there, filling her lungs with the icy air and when she arrived to the Leaky Cauldron, she reminisced on the familiar smells and sounds.

She walked through the roads, deciding to stop at Flourish and Blotts because Lily could never resist a bookstore. It was a nostalgic being in her favorite bookstore surrounded by the smell of fresh paper and magic.

"Blimey, if my eyes don't deceive, is that Lily Evans?"

Lily snapped her head to the side and saw Mr. and Mrs. Potter making their way towards and her heart sped up unsteadily as Mr. Potter in all his lanky and tall self brought her into his arms, and Mrs. Potter next.

"Oh, hi!" she said breathlessly and peered behind them but didn't see hair matching Mr. Potter's.

"How have you been, dear? We haven't see you since last Christmas!" Mrs. Potter began but Lily couldn't seem to grapple with what was happening to her. Coming to Diagon Alley was a mistake.

"I-uh… sorry this is just such a surprise," she finally mumbled but the two chuckled at her.

"Oh, are you meeting James and Sirius later? They are around here somewhere," Mrs. Potter said kindly. "But don't keep them out to long, dear. I need them to help clean the house for our Christmas Eve party tomorrow. James did invite you?"

Lily didn't have the heart to tell sweet and amazing Mrs. Potter that her and James no longer talked. Mr. Potter saved her the problem.

"Probably causing trouble, those boys are," Mr. Potter grumbled but then added as an afterthought and looked mischievously at Lily. "But then my friend at the Ministry told me you got into a spot of trouble yourself not to long ago."

Lily blushed red, "Oh… my friend-"

"No need to explain," he laughed. "James Potter is my son after all."

But Lily wasn't focusing because only one thought was drumming through her mind: James is here. James is here. James is here!

"Well, we better run… much to prepare before the holiday. Do you have anywhere to go?" Mrs. Potter asked. "You know you are welcome with us any time."

Her words brought Lily back to Earth and humbled her greatly. "Thank you."

Mrs. Potter smiled at her, a smile that told her she knew exactly what she was thinking as if she had done this entire situation on purpose. She hugged her warmly and Lily forgot what it felt like to be hugged by a mother.

Watching them walk away, Lily took a deep breath. It seemed like they were in a hurry. Probably all four of them would be back in Potter Manor already. Mr. and Mrs. Potter wouldn't interfere… They would definitely interfere. Lily knew the best chances of her not seeing James would be to leave Flourish and Blotts but she stood still and picked up a random Charms book. As the book came to life in her hands and began demonstrating theoretical spells, Lily watched two girls, no more than twelve, discussing something so seriously in a manner that only children could.

As the second passed, and no one came charging into the bookstore, Lily decided she was being ridiculous. Mr. and Mrs. Potter hadn't even said James was in Diagon Alley, just around somewhere. And hadn't James already proven his point by not contacting her? With that thought, she swiftly turned around and stared up at the massive bookshelf. Seeing a thick purple one above her that looked of interest, she tried reaching it to no success. She stepped onto the little space on the shelf by pushing herself forward, and just had a grapple on the book before she began tumbling backwards. But smack onto the floor she did not fall but instead into the clutches of large, strong and firm hands. And as the man's grip held her on the sides tightly, Lily looked up into the backwards face leaning over her. And her heart fell into the pits of her stomach as his touch vibrated throughout her entire body leaving heats of electricity sparking on her skin where he was touching. She was instantly aroused.

James lifted her upright, and she took a step backwards that had her standing straight against the bookshelf with nowhere else to go. He smirked down at her as he took the large book out of her hands and started flipping through it. She didn't realize he wasn't even touching her anymore until he opened the book but it didn't matter because his fingerprints seemed to burn into her skin and his penetrating eyes remained steadily upon hers.

"Evans," he said in a hushed tone that had Lily's nipples throb painfully against her bra. "Nice to know you're still into leaning the theories of Potions for Goblins."

"What?" she breathed, not comprehending his words in the intensity of the moment until he held up the book, Remedies for Goblins in Potion Making, Ancient Egypt to 1958. It took a moment for her to snap out of his intense gaze and register what was happening. "Oh. I liked the color."

"Me too," he answered and if the book hadn't been between them they would have been fully touching. But considering his breath was inches from her own and their legs were just brushing each other, it didn't seem to matter.

"What are you doing here?" she finally asked and breathed more deeply, as she was forced to look a bit upwards to fully reach his piercing gaze. He dropped the book on the floor, and Lily jumped. But when she looked up again his right arm was leaning next to her head and he was closer than he had been before.

He grinned roguishly at her question, and with his left arm he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Haven't seen you in half a year and that's all you have?" his smooth words washing over her.

"It's not every day James Potter walks back into your life."

His eyes sparkled at her words, and his arm moved down to her shoulders, tracing the line to her hip, leaving it there as he touched her boldly. This wasn't the James she had left behind on the train station. This was a James who had no problem taking what he wanted and living with no regrets to the consequences.

"What are you doing now?" his smoky voice rolled over, his gaze unflinching and Lily looked at him steadfast.


He took in her words, and seemed to take a deep breath of her scent. He opened his mouth to say anything but it seemed as if the words were stuck in his throat and Lily was glad he appeared as nervous as she.

She bit her lower lip, and moved closer to him. He didn't move away at first but seemed to consider his position. He inched forward and then she was submerged in his hug. Every inch of their bodies was now touching as Lily automatically wrapped her arms around his neck. His head was between the crease of her shoulders. Her breasts were pushed against his chest and how his hard hands moved their way downward the caused her body to be pushed more firmly against his own. The touch between them was electric, intoxicating, unfailing. He sniffed her neck, as if stopping himself from kissing it and Lily couldn't help but let out the small snicker.

"I missed you so much, Lily."

His clear words broke the charade. He moved back, and his grin was no longer scandalous as it was mischievous. A James she remembered, and Lily's smile widened as he flicked their noses together and let her go. This was unreal…

"I can't believe I'm staring at you right now."

"I know the feeling…"

Time between them was stuck, but James finally broke the silence. "Can I walk you out?"

She nodded, and he took her hand without question and they walked out of the store and into the bustling streets. Lily gave in involuntary shiver because after the heat between them, the blithering cold was like a whiplash. But her eyes couldn't leave his.

"What are your plans?" Lily asked.

He shrugged and looked at the direction of the Leaky Cauldron. "I really just wanted to get a kit for my broomstick. It got rusted a bit," James said shaking his head in disgust. "Dad just let it pretty much shrivel up and die in the shed."

Lily smiled sweetly at the simplicity of his task, so close to the James she once knew. "That's nice…"

They stopped walking and stood in the middle of the street, and Lily leaned her feet against the cobblestones as James looked intently down at her. "What about you?"

Her heart started drumming again… "Quick supply run."

He didn't say anything but Lily leaned forward, waiting, waiting…

He took a deep breath and inched closer, his hand moving gradually to her hip, his lips going down, down, down, so close-

The two girls from the bookstore slammed into them and Lily fell on top of James who tripped to the floor. She looked down into his eyes and his hands moved to her hip. "You okay?"

She nodded and got up, his hands on her until he moved to flick off the cinder.

"Sorry!" They squealed and then blushed as they looked at James.

"It's okay," he muttered and looked over at Lily again.

They rushed away, turning back around to get catch glimpse of James before giggling when he caught their eye.

Lily bit the inside of her cheek as James turned back to her. The amusement subsided, and once more Lily was forced not to fling herself at him. He took a deep breath as if he was forcing himself not to acknowledge his dark thoughts and gave her a wry grin.

"Right, I should go," he finally said and Lily's heart dropped and all she could think was no. "My parents are waiting for me back at home to help clean the house before the Christmas party tomorrow. Sirius too."

"Don't," she said and took a step closer and grabbed his hand and twined them together. "Don't go, please. Just… don't."

His gaze was hard but Lily didn't flicker. She wanted this, she yearned from this… she had always wanted this.

"Lily…" he murmured and brought their twined hands to her cheek.

"Just for a little while… please," she breathed.

Their foreheads were leaning together now and she felt him nod. Relief swept through her as James released her cheek. "So, what do you want to do?"

They got ice cream. Lily didn't think about how cold it was but only that her hand remained locked in James all the way to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. When Lily ordered her strawberry and vanilla and James his mint chocolate chip, and he had to let go of her hand to grab their cones, an awkward air spread throughout as they took their seats.

He was looking her over and Lily couldn't help thinking he looked good… He looked strong and his once boyish features seemed to vanish in replace of a man who had witnessed a few things. His arms, once so lanky, now filled out and strong as if he was going to crush his cone, and she briefly imagined what it would feel like if his hands moved down her naked body.

"How've you been?" he said breaking the silence.

"Good, busy. You?"

He didn't answer but his eyes told her everything. "How's school going?"

"It's so hard. Much harder than Hogwarts," Lily complained well heartedly. "But I love it. I made a good decision."

He smiled. "Anything interesting?"

She looked him over and everything about him was so severe, as if the laughter had escaped him in their months apart and his face wasn't used to smiling. "I enrolled in the Field Healer program… the one that works with Auror's."

His smile disappeared and his eyes flashed dangerously. "Lily, no."

"Why not?" but this challenge from James was something she welcomed.

"It's unsafe out there! You have no idea what it's like," he glared at her. "And making some rash decision to get back at me, Lily you can't. I won't let you."

"I want to make a difference too!" she fought back fiercely but her fierce eyes crinkled into smiles as in the heat of their moment, James was trying desperately to contain his melting cone that was spilling stickily onto his hands. Licking the sides uselessly while trying to remain angry had Lily burst into giggles and James look at her exasperated.

"Here, let me," she took the cone from the puddle in his hands and licked the sides smoothly before sucking gently on the bottom.

When she handed him back the cone, his eyes told her he fighting a losing battle. "Here…"

"Thanks," he exhaled and copied her movements. They sat there for a few more minutes, and when James was finally finished he looked at her with amused eyes. "I really do have to go now or Mum will kill me. Absolute murder."

"Oh," maybe she had read it all wrong. "Right. Sorry to keep you."

She hastily got up and looked at anything but him but James arms were around her in a second as he pulled her closer to the side, taking them over to a dark alley hidden from view.

"Lily," he murmured.

"Yeah?" she said breathlessly.

"I uh… Running into you was good," he uttered, his words stumbling unevenly from his mouth, so unlike him.

She smiled warmly at him. "Me too."

"Right… I need to see you again."

Her stomach squirmed uncomfortably and she tried to contain the instant excitement that shot through her as his hands rubbed up and down her arms. "I would like that."

"As a date," he said with a conviction that had Lily's smile broadening.

"I know."

A slow smile spread over his face, as if the losing battle wasn't a lost but a victory over a long, long battle. "Good," he said simply, "Is tonight good for you?"

"Okay," was the only word that could come out because she was so thrilled.

All thoughts vanished as he brought his hands to cup her cheeks and tilted her face upwards as she felt his harsh breath against her face, his eyes scorching her own. She ached for him, yearned for his touch and for his body to be close. She shuddered at the deep craving of her desire, for him, only for him, it always was him.

And then he was kissing her, surrounding her, leaning her against the harsh, cold wall as he pressed his body against hers and Lily gave in completely. Because nothing felt as wonderful as James kissing her as if she was his one and only thought. How wonderful it felt to finally be where she was supposed to be: in his arms, his lips against her own. And she would take him, she would take him any way she was offered because she had been dreaming about this moment, hadn't she?

The idea of being with James, of him being inside of her, had her throwing her arms around him invitingly, pulling him closer and kissing him back so possessively that she heard him groan into her mouth. She squeezed the leg that was resting between her two thighs and moaned as his hands moved downward to her hips. She felt his erection against her thigh and she smiled as he leaned back a bit, looking down at her panting.

"Merlin, Lily," he muttered and kissed her again. "You're all I've thought about, all I think about. I've tried to get you out but I can't."

A thrill of victory, of desire shot through Lily and she brought his lips down to hers again and he pushed against her, lifting her legs to wrap around his hips and Lily kissed him. Lily considered how strong he was as she wrapped her arms around his neck securely, and his hands brushed against her breast and he looked at her with a longing that she felt at the tips of toes. She arched into him as he kissed her again and he groaned into her mouth as he pulled away. She didn't care that it was cold enough to snow outside because James was so so warm.

"I really do have to go," he wheezed against her neck as he kissed her there gently and moaned as she squeezed his hips as if leaving her was the last thing he wanted.

"Don't," she said into his ear before kissing its tip.

James moved his head backwards and gave a loud groan before helping her down and brushing a few strains of dirt off her shoulder. "Tonight," he promised.

She didn't let go of him but nodded her head. "Tonight."

"I'll pick you up at eight. What's your address?"

She gave it to him before he kissed her once more, as if he couldn't help himself and Lily gave in greedily to his soft lips before he sighed and stepped away. "I'm leaving."

"Okay," she giggled as she watched him take a few steps backwards, and then outright laughed as he turned back around and rushed to her. Her laugh was half way up her throat before it turned into a moan when he kissed her fiercely, defiantly, vowing.

He let go of her this time and looked very satisfied at her dazed state. "Don't go changing your mind, Evans."

She shook her head as he turned away and Lily watched James Potter vanish between the buildings.

"Wait, wait, wait! Lily, wait!" Sienna said fiercely as Lily rushed around their rented apartment with a frenzy she had never felt before. Because Lily had a date with James, she finally, finally, finally had a date with James!

Sienna grabbed her shoulders and forced her to acknowledge her existence as she looked adamantly into her eyes. "What do you mean you have a date with James? When did you even see him? What happened?"

But Lily couldn't focus when in a few seldom hours James would be here and they would go to dinner and take a stroll afterwards and then… Well Lily decided if this was her only chance, her only date, she was going to make it worth it. She was going to go in 100%, no more second-guessing. She would be with James tonight with no regrets and the anticipation was bursting through her very fingers.

"I ran into him at Diagon Alley and we got ice cream and then he asked me out and then he kissed me and now we have a date and I have nothing to wear!" she rambled quickly as she unfastened herself from Sienna's grip and walked back to her rented closet. "I left all my good clothes in Cornwall!"

Lily didn't wait from a response as she once more started borrowing through her wardrobe even though she had gone through it already at least five times.

"Lily," she heard from behind her but Lily picked up a white blouse even though she already knew she wanted to wear a dress. "Lily… Lily… Lily, stop! Wait a second!"

At Sienna's shrill cry, Lily paused and looked at her friend who was now sitting on her bed, gazing at her concerned. "What?"

"Is this, I mean, shouldn't you slow down? It's just going so fast."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked dumbly as she dropped the blouse. It all made perfect sense to her.

"Yesterday we talking about how you were going to go on one date with Smetty and now you're planning to go almost on this reckless one with a kid from your grade school? I'm just worried about you."

It was as if Lily didn't have time to explain or the energy. Because James was… "I can't explain it, I don't know how too. But Sienna, I've never wanted anything as desperately as I wanted to go on this date tonight."

Her mouth opened in a perfect "o" and Lily would have laughed at the comicality of it all if she hadn't been so restless. "I just, I don't want you to end up hurt. I've seen a lot of tears for this Potter kid in the last two chapters."

Lily considered her words, and told her truthfully: "I almost don't care."

Sienna looked at her thoughtfully. "Well then… Guess we need to find you the perfect outfit."

Lily grinned at her words and before Sienna knew what happened Lily hugged her. "Thank you."

Sienna embraced her and stroked her hair gently. "What are friends for if not to make bad decisions with you?"

They ended up with a red dress of Sienna's that had thick straps and a low neckline that was tight at the bodice but flowed smoothly at her sides without being too revealing. She rolled on a pair of black tights, and black heeled booties. When she turned to look behind her, her entire back was bare expect for where the straps met above her lower hip. With a spell from Sienna, Lily's hair curled in simple ringlets and when she looked into the mirror it felt as if she didn't recognize herself.

"Lils! You look gorgeous," Sienna smiled as Lily twirled in the mirror because she kind of did kind of look amazing.

She looked over at the clock noticing it was about eight. James would be here any second, he promised. He wouldn't ditch her and she needed to remove the thought that he might not show up. But just as the web of doubt started crawling into her stomach, a loud knock sounded on their door and Lily's heart thundered in her chest.

Sienna looked at her with excited eyes as Lily bit her lower lip anxiously. "Want me to get the door?"

Lily nodded as Sienna got up and opened the door. She walked out of her room as Sienna let him.

"Hi, James Potter," she watched as James offered Sienna his hand.

"Sienna Montgomery."

"The famous roommate," James grinned comfortably. "Nice digs."


James looked over at her knowingly and Sienna reddened magnificently.

Lily took her queue and coughed lightly, causing the two heads to look over in her direction. James looked her up and down, his smile intensifying when he met her green ones.


"Hey there," he murmured as he came forward and handed her a few pink lilies. "You look beautiful."

She blushed at his compliment and couldn't help thinking how good he looked with his beige Muggle trousers that fitted him perfectly, and his light blue dress shirt that seemed to outline his impressive chest. He had on a navy blazer that was currently buttoned in the middle and Lily felt her insides melt to her lower remedies. "You don't look so bad yourself."

His grin burned to her very core. "Let's get out of here, yeah?"

Lily put on her black trench coat and scarf. He took her hand and Lily looked over at Sienna. She let go of James momentarily and went to hug her roommate who whispered in her ear, "Good luck."

She took back James's hand, and he led her out of her apartment and into the cold London weather. "So, what are the plans?"

James paused and looked down at Lily, and he looked so tall in that moment that Lily couldn't help but lift her arms and wrap them around his neck. He seemed startled by the display of affection before sliding his arms around her waist and squeezing her happily.

"I've just wanted this for so long," he started.

"Me too," she added that had him smirking with pleasure down at her.

"I don't want some normal date, Lily. This isn't a random get to know you. I know you. I want you. I was thinking we could start at the Christmas Market near Hyde Park-"

"James," Lily interrupted and smoothed one of his many loose strands of hair. "Okay. I trust you."

He seemed thankful that she was being so accommodating but Lily agreed with him. This was a chance, not an opportunity and if seven years at Hogwarts taught her anything it was that James Potter was a planner, a doer, and he knew how to have fun. She trusted that instinct.

He leaned down and kissed her fleetingly before releasing her, and with a brush of his hands he Apparated them to Hyde Park. Christmas lights were blinking in every direction. It felt magical.

"This way," he murmured as he took her hand, directing her more inwards, passing by the massive Christmas market. When they stopped at a hidden corner with high green bushes and an old steel chain wrapped around them Lily wondered why they were moving further and further away from the actual Christmas Markets. But with a tap of his wand, the chains seemed to twist out of the way and a door was revealed that James pushed opened.

The rambunctious crowd left Lily stunned as James pulled her behind him but Lily's mind couldn't seem to wrap around that this enigma existed and more than that, she was part of it. Witches and wizards were milling around their own huge Christmas Market as decorated Christmas trees were dancing alive as the fairy lights were real, blinking romantically above them. People were whirling about them buying last minutes presents, teens were drinking steaming cups of hot wine, girls laughing over tea cookies and hundreds congregating celebrating the holiday.

"James!" Lily said excitedly at the rapid movement.

He looked at her, pleased at her apparent happiness. "Yeah?"

"This is amazing! What is this place?"

He paused, "You've never been to the Christmas Market?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Well, not this one! I thought when you said Christmas Market you meant the Muggle one!"

He was chuckling at her when he brought her body closer to his and wrapped a hand around her shoulder. "C'mon!"

So they walked around the extraordinary market and Lily couldn't help but stare at everything. She gratefully accepted the hot wine James bought them as they browsed looking at all sorts of magical presents that were jumpy, moving and begging for purchase. The giggles continually erupted within Lily as her and James drank their steaming wine and grinned at each other.

"I wish I had done all my Christmas shopping here!"

He laughed as Lily picked up an old trinket that cascaded into sparks. "I'm glad I'm the first."

She met his eyes and though she understood what he meant, her cheeks reddened significantly as she looked away from his intent ones.

When they made another round, Lily felt perfectly untroubled with her hand in James as he led and showed her his favorite shops. She momentarily thought this is what it could have been like all those years at Hogwarts. This, them together, happy to be in each other's graces.

"One more surprise in this place," he said as they finished admiring the massive Christmas tree in the center.

"How can they fit anything else into this place?"

"It's magic, Lily," and sometimes Lily forgot how absolutely impossible magic actually was.

He led her to the back, not that the crowd thinned in the least. A few people seemed to nod their head's at James, but the happy atmosphere of Christmas seemed to wash away the seeping worry that had taken over the Wizarding community lately and instead filled with Christmas cheer.

"Here we are," and Lily looked up at the huge ice skating rink and Lily couldn't help but squeal with glee.

"Oh, James!" And her wide grin seemed infectious as he swung them around and they waited patiently in line.

"Ten Sickles per person," the individual behind the counter stated, bored. James handed over the coins as magical skates appeared on their shoes as they entered the rink, and James took her hand and they skated together on the shiny ice.

The skated holding hands, moving in sync as James twirled her around in small circles that had Lily giggling uncontrollably. The smooth way his hands captured her own assured her that he wouldn't let her fall. And as they made their way around the rink, the flow of the ice beneath them had her staring at James, sparkling at him in complete contentment. They skated and circled each other, Lily perfectly happy for James to take the lead and towards the end, he was hugging her close, dancing it seemed instead of skating.

It was perfect, the absolute perfect date. And twirling in his arms one last time he looked down at her, his arms light on her hips.

"Do you want anything?" he offered.

She shook her head numbly, to arrested by the romantic feelings. She was hyper aware of his hands on her back, his hips against her own.

"Are you hungry?"

She nodded.

"We can eat here at the market, there's a good place… but there is a place I've always wanted to take you. It's on the edge of London..."

"Let's go there," she whispered brightly, as she stood on her toes and looked deep into his eyes.

His arms left her hand and wrapped around her body. "Yeah?"


They walked off the ice rink, still clutched each other closely and as the magical skates disappeared as they exited. James turned into her embrace, and he Apparated them to a small overlook near the water. Though she lived in Cornwall, this water seemed literally to glitter and sparkle at her. "This is Faerie Realm."

She was overcome with the dark beauty of the island and she turned to face James who was looking down at her nervously. And she was reminded that he really probably did think about this date a million times. So she flung herself at him and hugged him hard because this date was better than any fantasy. "This place is perfect, James."

He seemed so relieved that she was enjoying herself, as if he thought she would try to escape him at any moment. They walked to a small Italian restaurant, a hole in the wall. When they arrived, they were lead to an intimate table that held a majestic view of the twinkling water that had Lily buzzing excitedly.

"Me and my parents used to eat here when I was younger a lot, when we wanted to give the house elves a break. My dad actually proposed to my mom here," James said into the dim light that had Lily's heart skipping a beat.

They had simple conversation, the food was exceptional. Lily was convinced she hadn't eaten this well since her days at Hogwarts. Though they didn't say much, Lily eyes never seemed to waver from James, who seemed to look at her as if she was just an image of his vast imagination.

As they shared a dessert, James finally broke the silence. "I can't believe this is real, Lily."

"Me neither."

"I really thought, some nights I would lay in bed and I was convinced I would never see you again… and now you're here."

Her insides tightened at his words.

"Tell me if you have someone else, if theirs been someone else," he said, as if the question had been badgering him for more then just this night.

She swallowed and shook her head. "No… not really. Maybe someone in the future but I forgot his name," she responded honestly.

He seemed immensely pleased at her response and took her hand in his own, brushing his thumb against her hand. "What about before?"

She shook her head and looked at him openly. "No one, James. I've been waiting for you."

His breath seemed to hitch and she turned her hand over and twined their hands together.

"What about you?" she asked, quietly but she had heard the rumors, hoped they weren't true.

He didn't answer right away and Lily's heart sunk as she looked down, breaking the spell between them and trying to move her hand away but he tightened it. "Lily, no… it was after Fifth Year, that summer, after our fight… I just felt wanted and you and I? I had convinced myself it was never going to happen, especially then. It was nothing, stupid, really.

"Please, don't be mad… You have to know you're all I've ever wanted."

Lily shook her head, trying to snap out of it. "I'm not really. Maybe jealous…."

"Nothing to be jealous about," and though she nodded at his words he didn't seem alleviated. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it lightly, "Let's take a walk, yeah? A breath of fresh air."

The tension filling the air was overwhelming, and Lily watched as James paid and led her outside to the silky sand and the water rolling right below their feet. The warmth between them seemed to reemerge and Lily decided she wouldn't allow her petty jealously get in the way of tonight. This was their chance.

"This has been more than I could ever imagine, James," she said softly, tucked securely in the curve of his arms, as the beach gleamed endless in front of them.

"Me too."

His arms tightened as he pulled her closer, standing against the water with only the moonlight and the soft fairy lights of the ocean. James traced the outline of her body in subtle caress. Noticing her necklace, he picked it up and the doe nuzzled into his hand. Lily was shocked, remembering how it had back away from Smetty's touch.

"Nice necklace… present?" he said with a smile, his voice low.

She nodded, unsure how to respond but he seemed to understand as the doe glowed between them. She looked up at him from under her lashes and his eyes met hers in a mesmerizing look. His hands skimmed her cheek and moved low as he bent to kiss her lips. Each kiss between them seemed to have left an ache deep into her soul. As he deepened the kiss, desire burned through her.

The heated kiss lasted for several long minutes, and when he drew back Lily looked up at him and studied his face.

"James," Lily said when he released her with a brush of her lips that left her shivering. "Take me home."

He paused, unsure and looked down at her determinately. "Back to-"

"I don't care as long as you're there," she uttered breathlessly and she saw his breath hitch as he swallowed harshly and pressed her firmly to him. Without questions they Apparated to the outside of a small bungalow that had ivy grow at it from every corner but in a charming way.

He opened the rickety white fence, holding Lily's hand firmly as he led her inside the house. With a flick of his wand, candles were lit and Lily gasped at the breathtaking insides. The furniture was slick and comfortable with forest color undertones that Lily thought only existed in daydreams. She turned around to face James and he was looking down at her intently.

"This is my parents summer home… I just wanted to take you to a place were we could be alone," he said as he brushed her hair behind her ear.

"It's perfect," she spoke, as the air hummed with anticipation around them.

He brought her into his embrace and hugged her. He kissed her hair before looking down. "We'll take this slow, okay?"

She nodded faithfully up at him and he was humbled at her acceptance as he kissed her softly. He teased her gently before pressing his lips more firmly against her own. Everything around them was drowned out expect for the feel of their bodies against one and other. Lily's heart pounded forcefully against her ears as his tongue smoothly entered her mouth.

When she parted her lips, and her tongue glided into his own, his kisses became more demanding, more captivating. His hand made their way to tangle themselves in her hair as he pulled her body closer. Lily stepped onto her toes to reach him further and that seemed to spur him on as his kiss became more seductive, more heated. She wanted to be close to him, she wanted to be closer to him everywhere, and with frenzy she had never felt before she kissed aggressively.

But James seemed content standing near the entranceway devouring her lips as if this would be his only chance. He held her in place and explored her mouth… sucking, nibbling and biting. Lily felt every curve of his body against her own and her body seemed to mold perfectly into his as if her body knew whom they were dealing with. She moaned loudly into his mouth, her eagerness overwhelming as she pushed her hands keenly into his hair and desire swept through them both.

His hands ran down the sides of her body, brushing over her hardening nipples in the process before moving further downward. Lily had never felt anything like it and let him know when she pushed her chest into his that had him let out a light chuckle.

But he was kissing her again, and it felt like they had been kissing forever. She hardly noticed when he easily lifted her by the knees and carried her up the stairs. She didn't care as long as James continued to kiss her like he was. And he was.

When they settled in the bedroom, he stood over her, looking so in the small room, but once again he swallowed all her thoughts as he leaned his head forward and captured her in a hungering kiss. All the nervousness she had felt before vanished with his wondering hands as they slid under her dress. It felt too good to be nervous, and James touch was so fulfilling. He removed his jacket and dropped it carelessly onto the floor before he lifted her dress over her head without question. She stood there in front of him in her thinly laced bra and matching underwear and his gaze swept over her, shaking his head as if dazed by the sight. He was looking at her as if he couldn't believe he was touching her and that she was letting him. And if the bulge in pants told her anything, he definitely enjoyed the view.

"Merlin, Lily…" His hands traced the edge of her lacy bra, his thumbs skimming over her nipples that hardened through the lace and sent a swirl of delight below. "You're so beautiful."

His fingertips drifted downward, a teasing that kept her entire body alert, jumping when his hand cupped her breast. Lily wanted to blush but it felt so erotic as he rubbed the rough fabric against her nipple with James looking down at her as if he would never get enough.

His other hand reached up and began playing with the other nipple that had Lily moaning loudly but he muffled the sound with his sweet kiss. Her entire body felt ragged as his hands moved in tandem with his mouth, leaving her breathless and flowing with desires. She brought her hands to wrap around his neck to press him closer but he took hold of her wrists firmly and kept tracing her nipple that was poking resolute through the thin fabric.

"Shh," he said softly. "Let me."

He pinched her nipple, rubbing them against the fabric of her sensitive skin that had her crying out louder as he only pinched her harder, making her gasp. He pressed one thigh between her legs to relieve her of some of the tension of her desire and Lily found herself unconsciously rubbing against him as a powerful rush of arousal swept through her. It all felt good, so good that her lust filled brain left her in a haze. Each movement sent jolts of electricity racing through her. She felt wanton, she felt desired and she wanted James. Only James.

He moved them slowly and Lily found herself lifted lightly before sinking into the flush bed behind her. The sheets felt silky against her skin and James stretched his body on top of her, his arms at her sides as he kissed her. He moved his body to lean on his elbow as he continued, his hand tracing her breast before leaning down and covering her nipple with his mouth. He teased her nipple through the fabric while his hands moved down her body, pulling at her thighs to wrap around his waist and he thrust lightly into her barely covered body. Her hips moved instinctively against his, begging for more, a more she wasn't even aware she was sure of. It all felt so good…

He helped her out of her bra, pushing the straps out of the way as her breasts became loose and he cupped them in his hands, squeezing them gently, and then more firmly.

"You're so responsive," he whispered huskily in her ear before looking down at her with dark, passionate eyes that had Lily bringing his lips back to her own and kissing him deeply.

He lowered his head again, her muddled brain taking notice as he sucked her nipple deep into his mouth that had them turning a rosy shade that left her panting. She squeezed her eyes shut, biting her lips to muffle the sound she was sure was emerging from her lips but he seemed to have none of it as he bite her nipple and she gave a powerful cry. He flicked her nipple a few times with his tongue before moving to the other breast and repeating the sequence. She buried her fingers through his thick, messy hair and pulled his head closer to her breast and she felt his smile against her skin.

James continued playing with her breasts, switching to the other before she felt his fingers drift between her legs, flinching before James smoothed her legs gently, looking down at her calmly.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said as he stroked her hip.

"I know," she breathed.

"We can stop…"

She shook her head too aroused to consider no. "No, I feel…"

But it seemed he understood because his hands moved low once more, his touch light and when he reached her lace underwear, he dragged one finger along the length of slit, thumbing over her clit and rubbing the fabric slowly against her sensitive skin.

"That feels, that feel so good," Lily uttered as his other hand came to rest at the top of her chest, flicking her nipple before James lowered his head and kissed her again, his fingers continuing their steady build. Lily moved her face away, needing to breath because her entire body was on fire and burning at his addictive touch. She kissed his neck and felt the low rumble in his chest as she arched into his body.

Her movements spurred him on as his fingers pushed faster and harder against her. Her breath started to hitch and the fabric was pressed roughly against her heated folds. His thumb rubbed her clit up and down as two fingers glided themselves inside her through the lace. Lily's hips rocked against the rhythm he created and she felt so hot, so hot everywhere.

One hand came up to play with her nipples some more, tugging at them as his other hand finally bypassed the fabric between her thighs and touched her bare skin that had her hips pushing more intensely against his hand. He increased his pace and he felt before she did her insides begin to tremble.

She arched into him, crying out and rocking faster as the pleasure she had never experienced before washed over her in intensive waves, one after the other as his fingers never slowed or calmed prolonging her pleasure with dark eyes boring down on her. "James."

The climax was something that came from deep within, her muscles collapsing in a domino effect as his fingers tempted their way deeper, more intimately that had her grinding desperately against him, contracting and yearning as she came hard against his hand. Just when she seemed to calm down he curled a finger within that had her eyes fly open, and her body shaking as moisture lapped all over James hands as she screamed his name once again in release.

She fell limply against the bed as he un-tucked his fingers. She blearily opened her eyes and James was looking down at her with a smug smile that had her reaching out for him and kissing him emotionally. He loomed large over her as he got up from the bed and she leaned up against her elbows as he stood between her open knees still fully clothed and glanced down at her.

"We can stop if you want," he offered hoarsely.

She shook her head and he nodded at her acceptance to continue and Lily felt a tremor shot through her as he pulled her legs abruptly towards him and stared at her opening. He traced the lines of her now defanged underwear and pulled it off, smirking at the soaking cloth. Lily blushed fiercely as James chuckled and dropped it on the floor with a thud.

He stood between her legs and stared for a moment before unbuttoning his shirt slowly and Lily breathed harshly as his bare and chiseled chest came into view, as she lay naked beneath him. Without warning, he lowered himself, pressing his mouth against her clit as his tongue found the hard nub and sucked it gently. Looking up at her, she was left open mouthed, the unfamiliar sensation leaving a nervous trickle down her throat before James gave her an explicit smile up at her before pressing his tongue once more causing Lily to moan deeply, her elbows collapsing below her.

With broad strokes and jabs, he teased her endlessly that left her moaning loudly. He brought his hand up and held her roughly against his mouth, sucking intently as she spurred against him. Her hands seemed hesitant at first to push his head but James brought one of his long hands up to her breast and pressed firmly against her nipple that left Lily squirming under him, a long moan escaping her mouth. He flicked her clit that had her rasping for breath before sliding his tongue against her slick opening and had his tongue dart deeper inside of her.

"Oh, oh James… please," she moaned inaudibly.

James seemed to have the answer to Lily's yearns because James took her clit hard into his teeth and sucked with abandon that had her crying out and pulling his face against her hard. James groaned at the sensation and her fingers tangled in his hair as she rocked against him. The tension surrounding her body was gradually built up again but James seemed to keep her at bay, pressing his hands against her thighs, her nub then back to her breasts as his tongue continually worked sucking her harder and firmer with each stroke.

Her thighs clamped down upon him as she gave out a husky moan but James didn't relent but kept sucking, pressing harder on her as her climax overtook her and she yelled his name in a pleasure she was sure had only existed in deep, forbidden fantasies.

"James. James. Oh, oh, Merlin!"

James didn't seem to be finished as he continued to lick even as her legs fell from his shoulders. He ignored her protests and kept sucking, kept lapping gently at her remaining moisture that was left behind, licking her thighs steadily as he sucked her clit that only initiated another smaller climax, and another, and then another before she violently pulled his hair up and his mouth to her lips. She wrapped her legs forcefully around him and moaned deeply into his mouth as she grinded up against him. She wanted to blush when she felt his wet face against hers but his adamant kiss left her forgetting anything but the pleasure of his hand inside her, his lips on hers and his legs between her.

She was still catching her breath when he his slick fingers found their way inside her once more.

"That's, that's good," she rasped as his hands moved further into her, dragging them back slowly in and out. Lily gave in, uncaring how exuberant she seemed by rocking against him as he slid a second finger that sent a grunt of pleasure through her that had her gripping his shoulders for leverage. She felt so wet, so wild for his touch that her hips were no longer touching the bed but twisting above her as his fingers disappeared within her more quickly and firmly with each stroke.

"So... so… James…good…"

Her moans were coming out quicker now, and James began stalling his actions that had her puffing in frustrated pants as she tried to reach her next climax but James began taking leisurely strokes as he refused to increase the pace as her thrusts against his hand became more and more frantic. And then watched stunned as he removed his hand and got up. He unbuttoned his pants, removing them and then his underwear and Lily tried not to gape as his large member pointed erected at her.

She let out a helpless giggle and James looked down at her, smiling at her nervousness. "Something funny, Evans?"

She bit her lip, shaking her head, as she got up on her elbows before reaching one of her hands to trace over his shaft, and he let out a gritted moan before grabbing onto her hand.

"No," he said gruffly, laying her back on the bed before lying above her without touching. "I'll lose it if you do that …"

She nodded her head innocently when he let her hand go and then kissed her completely as he lay fully nude against her. Her hands made their way around his back, drawing against his muscular shoulders, and there was something seriously erotic about her bare breasts against his own bare chest reminding her how aroused she had been.

"Lily," he whispered softly and looked heavily down at her, his eyes deep with arousal and love. She knew it was love. "I don't want to hurt you."

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his neck and let them hang there. "You won't… You've made me feel amazing tonight…I want to be with you."

Lily had been waiting for this moment, she needed this moment and gave into it and kissed him to let him know it. His erection brushed against her thigh and he released her lips and looked down at her as he pressed inside her, barely moving within. He moved steadily and Lily kept from flinching but she couldn't help the shudder that leapt through her body.

"I'll try to be gentle," he said shakily, touching her hair lightly but she nodded at him.

He seemed to make a decision, and started kissing her intently that had her swallowing any ache of discomfort as he drove further into her body, stretching her in his fullness. He felt so hard within and she felt so hot and secure in his strong arms and for brief hazy moment she understood what it meant when the feeling of completion occurred.

"Merlin, Lily," he grunted as his precipitation slicked against her own chest as he held still, deep inside of her for a long moment and he began mumbling soft seductive words against her skin that intensified her feelings as he told her how much he dreamt about this, how much he had wanted this, how he needed this, them together forever and ever for always…

When he drew back and pushed forth again, her body tensed expecting the same sharp pain but she only felt a minor discomfort, as she seemed to writher beneath him. In that moment, the pain disappeared and Lily opened her eyes and mouth as a loud moan escaped her lips and his dark eyes met hers, as he plunged hard into her and kissed her bottom lip, moving slowly to her neck. She felt the hard strength of his legs between her own and she had never felt so out of control, so uninhibited. She would have let James do anything in that moment, anything…

"Oh Merlin, James, James," she whimpered as he thrust again. "This feels," un-focusing as he did it again. "This is…" and again.

He slowed his movements at her husky words but continued thrusting hard, staring adamantly into her eyes as she felt as if she was on the verge of something… as he paused a bit more between each stroke the anticipation seemed to mount to an frantic pulse with each hard drive.

"James!" she cried out forcefully and he grinned pleased down at her.

"Shhh," he responded. "I'm going to take care of you…"

She nodded her head as he pushed against her and brought her legs up to wrap around his hips, and she squeezed him tightly that sent shudders all the way down James' body that had him thrust more forcefully and Lily rocked against him as she gave in to the power he had over her. His hands wrapped around her hips as he surged forward and kissed her passionately.

He thrust into her again, and then again, pulling out and driving back immediately and Lily wasn't sure she even knew what was happening to her but she squeezed her eyes shut as her orgasm seemed to leak from between her pours and over her body as he James continued to rock against her, her hips matching his own as her clit was rubbed against the stiff hairs at the base of his shaft. She moved her hands down his body, resting at his butt and pushing him more forcefully against her telling him to bury himself deeper, harder, faster inside of her.

As her muscles relaxed and she seemed to recede, her body was left limp; almost dizzy under him and when he kissed her it was lazy, steady, as he remained hard inside of her and when he moved slightly, her muscles tightened once more making her think she must be crazy to need more, want more. She squeezed him instinctively and he groaned deep into her throat. She did it again and James moaned again and sat up, mock glaring at her.

James didn't stop but his half closed eyelids kept moving as she convulsed around him again as he thrust against her still moving hips hard, a fulfillment that had been aching deep in their souls emerging. Release came crashing through him as he yelled her name into her slick neck. He thrust into her a few more unsteady times before collapsing, his arms wrapping themselves around her like a brick wall as he pressed a kiss into her neck.

"That… that was the best, Lily. The best thing, amazing, I can't," but the words that seemed to be on the edge of his lips refused to surface and instead he kissed her cheek and neck and then her eyes and ended at her nose and looked seriously at her. "Perfect, Lily. That was beyond perfect."

She kissed him breathlessly, giving him everything in her because it was all she had. All she had to offer and she wanted to give him all of it because she felt more than limp and whole. She wanted to tell him that he could bury himself in her and she would take care of him. She would always take care of him. She wasn't leaving if he wasn't leaving.

"James," she sighed when he finally rolled off and carried her with him to ensure she lied securely against his chest. Her eyes drooped low but she tried to keep them open. "I want to stay awake," she uttered into his chest and she heard his deep laugh as he stroked her sweaty hair that laid over the two of them.


"I want this day to keep happening, I never want it to end."

He brought her face up to his and kissed her softly. When it ended he cupped her cheek and whispered, "If you fall asleep, we can make another one like it tomorrow."


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