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Falling Regrets
Harry P. & Hermione G. & Ron W. & Sirius B. - Words: 4,212 - Rated: T - English - Drama & Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 13-01-2018 - Published: 18-02-2017 - by soniclikethescrewdriver (FFN)

As they reached Luna, they all tried to speak at once resulting in a jumble of words and sounds that no one could understand, or rather that no ordinary person could understand. But of course, this was Luna, so she understood them straight away.

"You don't know where Harry is?"

"Yeah, I mean no, I mean we don't know where he's gone. We can't find him," stammered Neville.

"I haven't seen him since last night. He wasn't in our room when I woke up and he wasn't down here either."

They all shared a look and gazed at Luna waiting for her to make sense of it all as if she was some divine oracle. In their eyes, she always seemed to know what was going on and had a way of knowing things that no else possibly could. They were all out of ideas and it was up to her to help them out.

"That's odd," she said as she stared dreamily into space. She fiddled with the wand she kept tucked behind her left ear.

"Well, do you know where he is?"

"Harry? No I don't know where he's gone, but he's taken to wandering the castle at night. His head is simply overrun with wrackspurts. They're invisible and they make your brain go all fuzzy. You have to think positive thoughts to rid yourself of them. The problem is, Harry can't seem to think any happy thoughts since Sirius fell through the veil."

"How do you know he's been out of bed at night?"

"Oh, well, I've seen him a couple of times. I sleepwalk at nights which is why I always sleep with my shoes on. But my shoes seem to have disappeared again recently with most of my belongings and I haven't been able to find them. Sometimes I end up sleeping on a stairwell or in one of the halls which can get a bit cold. Harry's come across me a couple of times while he was on his way to the Astronomy Tower. He didn't want me to get in trouble so he'd wake me and walk me back to my common room."

"Luna, why was Harry going to the Astronomy Tower?"

"Haven't you noticed?"

"Noticed what?"

"Harry hasn't been the same since the Department of Myster—"

"Of course we've noticed that," shouted Hermione exasperatedly. Luna face took on an expression of frustration. Her eyebrows quirked up and her mouth became drawn. A flush began to take over her pale cheeks.

"Would you listen to me! I wasn't finished talking. He hasn't been the same since he lost Sirius. I thought telling him about the voices I heard from the veil would make him feel better and reassure him that he would see Sirius again. It didn't really help him. He's too lost, it's like he's not here. I'm not surprised you guys haven't noticed, you tend to disregard thoughts you don't like even when you have all the evidence in front of you."

"What are you talking about? What evidence? He's just a little sad, that's all. He'll get over it, it's not like he doesn't have any family left, we're still here. He has us, he knows that. He wouldn't leave us like this, he can't, he just can't."

"Ron, Harry feels like he's lost everything. Sirius was like the father Harry never had. He found family in Sirius and now he's gone. His world has fallen apart. How would you feel?"

"Well…" Ron sheepishly scratched the back of his head, face flushed with shame.

"The world has put so much pressure on Harry that he's cracking and it shows. In the boniness of his frame, the bags under his eyes, his scar covered thighs."

"No, Harry would never do that to himself," interjected Ginny, her voiced laced with disbelief and sadness.

"But he did," said Luna simply.

"Why would he do that? He's faced Voldemort, he's battled Death Eaters, he's almost died many times. How could he be so stupid? How could he be so weak," Ron blurted out.

*slap*

Luna's small hand met the side of Ron's face with a satisfying smack. His hand then cradled his cheek as he looked at Luna with disbelief, completely blown away that Luna, of all people, had just hit him. Hermione looked at Luna as if she had lost her mind. Ginny and Neville were simply gob smacked. Hermione was just about to open her mouth when…

"How dare you? You say he's your best friend, how can you talk about him like that! This is exactly why he felt like he couldn't talk to you guys. You act like he's some strong, infallible superhuman. You don't let him be a person. He's not allowed to show you guys any weakness or hint of emotion. You force him to be something he's not. He's just Harry, a person no different than you or me. This doesn't make him stupid or weak, it makes him human," yelled Luna.

The entire group fell quiet as they thought about Luna said. Was it true that that was how they made Harry feel? Could they truly have been that thoughtless? How had none of them noticed something was wrong? No, noticed is the wrong word because they had noticed on some level, they just hadn't thought anything of it.

Luna recollected herself and said, "Now, I don't know where he is at the moment, but last I saw he was at the Astronomy Tower."

"Luna, why didn't you try to talk to him more?"

"Because he didn't want to talk. Sometimes people don't need someone to talk to, they just need someone to be there for them. That's what he needed, so that's what I did."

"What should we do now," asked Neville.

"I think we should check the Astronomy Tower first."

"I do hope he's okay," Ginny whispered shakily as they exited the Great Hall. She had become overwhelmed by her thoughts during this exchange. Terrible, terrible thoughts of Harry's anguish and how they had all been blind to it. She hoped that they would find him dozed off in the tower, safe. The group headed towards the Astronomy Tower with heavy hearts.

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