A/N: Happy Friday! Hope you enjoy this one! If you do, validate my existence by leaving a review!
This is another slightly NSFW chapter, again, mostly discussion, nothing you can't handle if this isn't your first M-rated fic.
He would always buckle down and suddenly become a model student when Remus missed class and needed notes. It was admirable in a way, but also rather annoying.
Chapter Six: Discussions
Summer still lingered this fine Sunday afternoon, and Lily, Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas decided to take advantage, settling under the shade of a large tree near the lake with a pouch of food and all homework left behind in the dorms.
"Did you have to make leashes for them yourself, or do they sell leashes for rats?" Dorcas asked as Emmeline fastened the ends of two leashes to her messenger bag so that her two white rats wouldn't wander far. Bruno and Boris were attached to the leashes with small harnesses and seemed simply delighted to be allowed to run around the grass near the tree.
"They're meant for ferrets," Emmeline explained, "But one of my roommates has a cat so they don't really get to explore my dorm much. I let them run around my bed sometimes because I've got a spell to keep the cat off and them on, but mostly they're cooped up in their cage, so I thought I'd give the leashes a try. They seem to enjoy it."
"Well it's not like they've got a small cage, weren't you saying it's several feet taller than your bed?" Lily asked.
"Yeah, but a change of scenery is nice anyway, hm, Boris?" Emmeline said, petting the rat's head as he walked close to her hand.
"Just as long as a cat doesn't wander over here," Marlene said, helping herself to one of the sandwiches in their bag of food.
"If I were a cat, I'd be looking for a sunny place to take a nap right about now," Dorcas said with a yawn, lying back in the grass and lowering her sunglasses.
"Do you think McGonagall ever turns into a cat and takes naps in weird places?" Emmeline wondered aloud, digging through her bag for the Polaroid camera she liked to play with. "I would."
"I feel like there's dozens of cooler things you could do as a cat, why would you waste your cat abilities taking a nap?" Marlene asked.
"Full-time cats do it," Lily shrugged.
"But you could jump to weirdly high places! And the claws!" Marlene said, curling her fingers to mime having claws.
"But the naps," Dorcas said, petting Bruno as he climbed atop her stomach and settled himself there. Emmeline snapped a picture of this, finding it adorable. The camera spit out the picture, not yet developed.
"Speaking of McGonagall, I asked if she knew any odd jobs I could do to maybe earn a little money. She suggested I ask Binns, and he's going to give me a few galleons to organize his filing cabinet next weekend," Lily said.
"Does Binns still get paid? What does he do with his money?" Marlene asked, cocking a brow. "I mean… he's a ghost. Ghosts don't have expenses, do they?"
"Maybe he's saving for a ride on the river styx," Emmeline shrugged, shaking her not-yet-visible picture.
"Maybe he has to pay a student to organize his filing cabinet every couple years since he can't do it," said Dorcas.
"I wonder if he has to pay taxes," Emmeline said. "I'm going to look that up later."
She took a pen out of her bag and scrawled "Do ghosts pay taxes?" on her arm.
"Anyway, I'll be well on my way to a sneakoscope. Did I tell you I figured out the model I want to get?" Lily said, shuffling through her bag.
"No, you didn't," Marlene said. Dorcas sat upright again to see what Lily had to show them. The redhead pulled out a magazine ad and held it before her. The ad featured a top of the line, golden sneakoscope, with the tagline, A long life and peace of mind, for the rational and paranoid alike.
"Fifty galleons? Does it clean your house too?" Dorcas said, jaw dropping.
"For that much you should just get them a guard dog and all its shots. It'd be cuter," Emmeline added. "I wonder if they're jacking up the prices because of the attacks recently. I don't know whether to be disgusted or impressed by that, honestly…"
"You're gonna need to do a lot more than filing to get that," Marlene said, cringing at the price as well.
"Well, the school pays us a bit for tutoring, but that only really picks up around exams," Lily sighed.
"And they don't pay much, mostly it's extra pocket change that's nice when a Hogsmeade visit comes around," Emmeline pointed out, snapping a picture of Marlene and Lily, who made stupid faces in preparation. The photos Emmeline took were never works of art, but she just liked hoarding memories.
"What about a job in Hogsmeade?" Dorcas asked.
"Most places want you to be sixteen, I checked. So that's not an option until January," Lily said. "Some of them don't want you until you're seventeen."
"I mean it's probably a good thing you can't get a part time job that isn't tutoring yet… don't forget, we have exams this year, and prefect duty, too. Don't spread yourself too thin," Emmeline said.
"How much do you have now?" asked Marlene.
"Seven galleons, three sickles, fifteen knuts. It's all my savings after I splurged on those new potions scales," Lily said, leaning back against the trunk of the tree.
"What was wrong with your old scales, anyway?" Emmeline asked.
Lily frowned. "They, um. They weren't as pretty. Merlin, I wish I could tell past-Lily to hold off on the scales."
"Well, I mean, at least you've got something," Dorcas said, lying back again. "Something is better than nothing. You've got a starting point! And I bet some other professors have errands you could do. I know Professor Sprout will pay a couple sickles if you help her weed the mandrakes… course, that's because even the Herbology Club doesn't want to deal with those weeds."
"Slughorn adores you," Marlene added. "I bet he'd help you out if you offer to help him prep for his classes or something."
"True," Lily nodded.
"If you have time. Again, there's O.W.L.s, prefect duty, homework, actual class, eating, sleeping—" Emmeline said, ticking these things off her fingers as she went, camera and photos resting in the grass beside her for now.
"Why do you have to be such a downer?" Marlene said.
"I'm just saying, I come from a house full of people existing on caffeine because they spread themselves too thin. There's a reason the coffee at the Ravenclaw table is stronger than the others," Emmeline said.
"I'd rather have a few sleepless nights because I'm actively trying to do something to keep my family safe than be up all night worrying because I'm not doing anything," Lily said with a shrug.
"Fair enough, remember, the Ravenclaw coffee is stronger," Emmeline said, raising her hands in defeat before digging through their bag of food for some grapes.
"I really do think you could make a decent amount with the mandrake thing," Dorcas said.
"Oh! I just remembered, did you hear that Rosier got caught giving Peggy Madison head in the green house?" Marlene said.
"Who told you that, Bertha Jorkins?" Lily scoffed.
"Obviously," said Marlene.
"Where are we going to get our gossip after she's gone?" Dorcas said. Bertha was in her seventh year.
"I heard it was the other way around, Peggy was giving Rosier head," Emmeline said.
"Why would you do anything like that in the green house? There's dirt everywhere," Dorcas cringed.
"Apparently they got caught because one of the plants tried to eat them partway through," Emmeline said. "So, she screamed and Professor Sprout came to check…"
"Oh, that's a tad humiliating," Marlene winced.
"No more so than the fact that everyone knows now," Lily frowned.
"Well, I was referring to the fact that apparently a plant made her scream but he didn't. Anyway, Peggy made the mistake of telling Bertha. It's the same way everyone found out that Jane gave Sirius a hand job last year," Marlene said, shaking her head. "I swear you don't tell Bertha anything unless you want the whole school to know."
"That was gross, everyone gave Jane hell for that but Black was practically worshipped," Lily scowled, shaking her head at the memory.
"That's how it goes," Dorcas sighed. "For girls, you're a prude if you're a virgin, but the second you have sex, you're a whore. And boys that have sex are heroes."
"To be fair, Sirius did hex someone that called Jane a slut… everyone kind of laid off after that," Emmeline said. Each of her rats had settled before her the moment she'd pulled out the grapes. She handed one to each of them. Delighted at the sight, she picked up the camera and took a picture of this, too.
"Yeah, but then Jane thought that meant he wanted to get back together, and he didn't," Lily said.
"I was under the impression they weren't together in the first place," Dorcas said.
"Probably not. The whole thing was awful," Lily said.
"Also, again, I have to state that the rumor that started going around that he had an orgy with my house Quidditch team is exceptionally untrue," Dorcas said. She paused. "Unless I wasn't invited for some reason."
"Count your blessings if that's the case," Lily laughed.
"I guess," Dorcas said before hesitantly glancing around for any eavesdroppers and adding, "Er, so I have an awkward, stupid, muggleborn question."
"Shoot," Marlene said, wiping crumbs from her lips.
"So… wizard sex," Dorcas said.
Emmeline snorted. "Wizard sex?"
"Yes, wizard sex," Dorcas repeated. "What do wizards do for protection? Do we just… use the muggle methods?"
"What are the muggle methods?" Marlene asked, the only one in the group without muggle relatives.
"Well, there's a couple things, like birth control pills, or there's condoms, which are latex sleeves you put over the penis," Emmeline said.
"Wait, like a penis glove?" Marlene asked.
"Basically," Lily nodded.
Marlene cocked a brow, "You're fucking with me, right? That's ridiculous."
"No, they really do that," Dorcas laughed.
"Muggles are weird," Marlene said, shaking her head.
"Anyway, I think there's a spell. I meant to look further into it because my mother is a muggle so the talk she gave me was very, well, muggle. And my father would rather die than talk to me about it, but I got distracted," Emmeline said.
"There is a spell. My parents went the vague route so once Mallory got into her healing training, she made sure we all knew what was going on when they weren't looking," Marlene said, speaking of her oldest sibling.
"How did that go?" Lily asked.
"Well, she talked to Max, Miles and Michael without me and she said that they were so embarrassed that their sister was discussing it in such a clinical way that they could hardly find it in them to make any jokes," Marlene said. "Also, apparently Max insisted that he didn't need such a lesson but then Mallory asked, 'true or false, if a girl's hymen is broken, she's not a virgin,' and he said, 'true,' and she just laughed at him and said he needed the lesson."
"Wait, that's not how it works?" Lily asked.
"Oh Merlin, Lily, no," Marlene said, shaking her head. "Your hymen stretches, a lot of times it doesn't break at all, and if it does, lots of not-penis things can make it bleed or break. Mallory said she's pretty sure she broke hers playing Quidditch. Plus, it can heal itself. The state of your hymen really has nothing to do with whether or not it's been in contact with a penis."
"Right, so you don't have to bleed your first time," Emmeline said, though it sounded more like a question.
"Exactly," Marlene said. "It doesn't have to hurt, either. If you're relaxed, and, er, lubricated, and the guy takes it slow so you can get used to it then it should be okay, but Mallory said it might a while to relax and get used to it. That was weird, hearing my sister talk about her first time and have her lecture me about really caring about who I lose it to."
"Well, that's just common sense, isn't it?" said Lily. "Losing your virginity to someone you love?"
"I don't know, I feel like I'd rather get the awkward, uncomfortable part over with beforehand, so when and if I do meet someone that great, well, we can just dive right into it," Marlene shrugged. "Besides, the whole school is calling me a whore anyway, I might as well have some fun and actually do a little of what they think I did?"
"Oh, Marlene, don't let gossip influence you," Lily frowned.
"I'll get back to you guys on my opinion after I've been kissed," Emmeline sighed, the bitterness clear in her voice. "Or if David Bowie ever suddenly knocks on my door."
"I just think there's too much pressure on the first time you have sex. I want to go in without putting my heart on the line or expecting anything life changing or beautiful beyond words. If I go in expecting it to be awkward and uncomfortable, and just being friends with the bloke, I can't be disappointed or heartbroken after," Marlene explained.
"I guess… but I don't know. I can't imagine being so vulnerable with someone I don't love," Lily shrugged.
"And that's great for you, don't let me change your mind," Marlene nodded. "I just… I don't want it to be a huge thing."
"Is that a euphemism?" Dorcas snickered.
"No, no, not necessarily," Marlene grinned. "I just… I just want it to be like when Sirius and I flirt, you know? His heart's not really in it. My heart's not really in it. We're just fooling around and having a good time. That's what I like about him, he doesn't expect anything romantic out of me. We can just joke around."
"So you don't fancy him?" Emmeline asked.
"Nah, not at all," Marlene shook her head.
"Hmm," Emmeline said.
"He's just fun to flirt with, he's got a good sense of humor."
"If you say so," Lily said.
"Oh, come now, Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus can certainly be funny sometimes," Dorcas said.
"The Marauders," Emmeline said mockingly with a giggle.
"Do they really expect people to call them that?" Marlene asked.
"Dumbledore is," Lily said with a roll of the eye.
"Of course he is," Dorcas laughed. "But can we back up a bit? The spell."
"Right, yes, the spell!" Marlene said.
"Is it good for infection, too, or just pregnancy?" Dorcas asked.
"Both, and you can use the same spell regardless of what you've got going on between your legs," Marlene nodded. "I can show you guys."
"Is it difficult?" Lily asked.
"No, not really," Marlene said, taking out her wand and pointing it at Emmeline, who somehow became her test subject. "It's just an upward motion, followed by like, a sideways figure-eight and then, pubis clypeus!"
Emmeline flinched slightly. Marlene grinned. "You know it works because you'll feel a little pressure for a second. But now you're safe from pregnancy or infection for the next couple hours, Em, congrats."
"I'll alert my many suitors," Emmeline said sarcastically.
"Pubis Clypeus," Lily mumbled.
"I can't imagine a teenage boy saying that without giggling," Dorcas said.
"If that happens, don't have sex with him," Marlene said.
"Because if you can't handle saying pubis you probably can't handle having sex?" Lily asked.
"Well, that too," Marlene said. "But Mallory said that the spell only works as well as you cast it. If you aren't focused, or if you're giggling or stuttering, it won't be as strong and will wear off quicker."
"So, it's like condoms in the sense that if it didn't work, it was probably user error," Emmeline said.
"I'm still not entirely convinced you're not making that up," Marlene said. "And how do you mess up putting a glove-thing on your penis?"
"Sometimes they break," Dorcas said. "Pretty sure that's why I have a little brother."
"Hm, well, I'll be sticking with magic, I think," Marlene said.
Remus always had the same cot in the hospital wing: the last one in the far corner with the privacy curtains drawn. It made him feel better to know that most people that stopped by would be none the wiser that he was there at all, drawing less suspicion that he otherwise might after insisting that he had left school to visit his mother.
Most people. Not all people. Remus was interrupted in his pursuit to finish his charms essay as three shadows appeared on the other side of the curtain.
"Psst, Moony!" came James' voice.
"You decent?" Peter added.
"Yeah," Remus said, blowing lightly on his parchment to dry the ink before sliding his essay in his charms book and setting it aside. His friends shuffled three chairs inside the privacy curtain.
"How're you doing?" James asked as they sat down. Remus looked rough, as though he hadn't slept in days, and he was propped upright with several pillows, unable to really sit up on his own without exhausting himself.
"Not as bad as usual, honestly," Remus forced a smile. No new wounds meant he only had to deal with the aches of his bones and skin from the transformation, rather than having to worry about changing bandages and whether or not his latest self-inflected wound would scar.
"We brought you some chocolate," Sirius said, shuffling through his bag for the bars in question. For some reason, it was all that Remus craved after the full moon, and Madam Promfrey was not keen on giving it to him, insisting he needed something healthier to recover.
"Bless you," Remus said, taking one and eagerly unwrapping it. Or, as eagerly as he could when his fingers were still sore.
"We didn't really get to talk to you before you came back here," Peter said. That morning they had all awaken with a start when an owl tapped the window of the Shrieking Shack. Wormtail, Prongs and Padfoot had found an exhausted Remus Lupin lying where Moony had fallen asleep.
Remus objected as Prongs turned back into James, reminding him that they couldn't get caught here. James told him to shut up, he was going to help him back through the tunnel, and slung Remus' arm over his shoulder.
Padfoot and Wormtail had remained the same, cautiously leading the way down the stairs, through the opening into the tunnel, and through said tunnel until they were near the end.
Remus let go of James' shoulder and the other boy gave him an encouraging smile before transforming back into Prongs. Remus carefully approached the exit, reaching a trembling hand outside to tap the knot and stop the violent branches. When he climbed through and met Madam Promfrey, she was none the wiser that a stag, a dog, and a rat were lying in wait and had escorted Remus back.
"Talking in general is kind of hard that soon after transforming, my jaw always hurts," Remus said. His jaw still hurt.
"Well," James said, "I think last night went pretty well, honestly."
"I must have been so annoying, I'm sorry," Remus said, burying his head in his hands as he recalled bouncing around the shack in excitement over having friends.
"I like excited puppy Moony," Sirius grinned.
"It's much more preferable than 'I'm going to eat you' Moony," Peter nodded.
"Do you think next time you transform, you'll remember us?" James asked.
"I think so. When I transform, I remember all the other times I transformed, I just… I don't have my human mind," Remus said. He paused, looking at the others hopefully. "But… so… there'll be a next time, then?"
"Absolutely!" Sirius said. "Did you think we'd chicken out because you nipped at us a few times?"
"I just—I know it's a lot, and you were out there all night," Remus said.
"And we'll be out there the next full moon, all night," James said. "Besides, after you left, it was still early so we decided to explore the grounds a little, and look what we've got."
James handed Remus a few folded pieces of parchment. When Remus unfolded them, he found a roughly drawn diagram of the portion of the grounds surrounding the Whomping Willow, with several lines and measurements written in for future reference.
Another piece of parchment had a slightly nicer depiction of the same area, with "TEST" written in James' scrawl at the top. A small dot labeled "Rubeus Hagrid" was walking around the drawing labeled as Hagrid's hut.
"For the map?" Remus said, referring to their ongoing project. "I thought we were just focusing on inside the castle."
"We were, but being able to roam the grounds as animals is giving us quite literally an entirely new perspective," Sirius said. "I think we have to add the grounds, now."
"Hagrid didn't notice you measuring his hut?" Remus asked.
"Well, we sent Peter to do that," James said.
"Again, you all made fun of me for turning into a tiny animal," Peter said, smug.
"Yes, yes, you've proven quite useful, short stuff," Sirius said, ruffling Peter's hair.
"I think I'm gonna take my broom out later to try and get an aerial view of everything that we need to map out," James said. "And maybe get some nicer sketches started after I finish McGonagall's assignment."
"This map is going to make us impossible to catch, it'll be brilliant," Sirius said. They had already used several smaller maps they'd made of certain parts of the castle to narrowly avoid detention (and Filch) the previous year.
"And it'll help for the full moon, too," Peter pointed out.
"My only concern is that if we do get it to work the way we want, and if we do get it as detailed as we want, and then we get caught with it, not only will it show how we got away with so much, but we'll have to explain the inclusion of the secret passageways, the details of restricted parts of the school…" Remus said.
"That's a fair point," Sirius nodded, frowning.
"We'll have to add some security measures," James said. "I was looking through that Old Masters' Art and Spells book you got me last term and there was a bit in there about this poet that would send his boyfriend love letters that could only be revealed when he said a certain phrase and tapped the parchment with his wand."
"Did it say which spell it was?" Remus asked.
"I think so, but it didn't explain how to do it. I'll check it out later," James nodded.
"Let me know when you go flying," Sirius said. "I could go for a ride, I think."
"Oh, me too!" Peter said excitedly.
"All right. We should probably go while the light's good. Do you need us to get you anything, Moony?" James asked.
Remus shook his head. "Just the notes from tomorrow's lectures. I don't think Promfrey will let me out before tomorrow night."
"Do you really want notes from MacPherson's class?" Sirius asked.
"I could use a laugh," Remus snorted. "If there's any perk to Lycanthropy, it's missing that wanker's class."
Monday morning had a habit of rolling in much earlier than anyone wanted. It always came exactly on schedule and yet somehow was always a surprise when it was time to climb out of bed and trudge downstairs to breakfast and class.
James had dragged Sirius and Peter to class earlier than usual. He would always buckle down and suddenly become a model student when Remus missed class and needed notes. It was admirable in a way, but also rather annoying. Sirius carried a mug of coffee and a doughnut with him as he had still been eating when James insisted they go.
"I don't think MacPherson is going to allow food in class," Peter said to Sirius as James carefully set up his parchment, quill, and ink.
"I cast an anti-spilling charm on the coffee," Sirius said. "And MacPherson can suck my—"
"He's just outside, going to be walking in any second, Black, I'd suggest you not finish that sentence," Lily said as she, Marlene and Emmeline took their seats in the row before the boys.
Sirius glanced toward the door of the classroom to find MacPherson talking with McGonagall. Neither seemed pleased about this fact. After McGonagall initially spoke with MacPherson about his comments about Marlene's eyeshadow, MacPherson had told his classes that he didn't appreciate his students spreading lies and slander to his colleagues.
This only encouraged the students to tell their heads of house more and more about MacPherson, some accounts exaggerated, but most not so much.
He had been stopped in the halls by McGonagall, Slughorn, Sprout, and Flitwick all month.
MacPherson stepped away from McGonagall and stomped into his classroom, clearly in a sour mood. McGonagall offered a smile to the students glancing her way and mouthed, "Good luck," before walking off to her own classroom.
While MacPherson's back was turned, Sirius slipped out his wand, tapped his coffee mug and mumbled, "Rojo."
"What're you doing?" James whispered.
"You'll see," Sirius said, putting his wand away before stuffing the last remaining piece of his doughnut into his mouth.
MacPherson tapped his blackboard with his wand. Lecture notes appeared on it for no more than a few seconds before fading away. MacPherson sighed and tapped the blackboard harder this time, leaving several students wincing and wondering how on earth he hadn't shattered the wand.
The lecture notes appeared again, but this time with several letters obviously missing from a few words. Another aggressive whack brought the missing letters to the surface and left MacPherson mumbling under his breath.
James and Sirius exchanged knowing grins, pleased that MacPherson had been unable to successfully undo the curse Sirius had put on the blackboard a few weeks back. They were sure if he just asked Professor Flitwick, it would be fixed in an instant.
But that would, of course, require admitting that he had perhaps done something wrong in his own attempt.
The bell rang and with a flick of his wrist, MacPherson shut and locked the classroom door. Why he continued to do this was unknown to the students, as every time someone was late, instead of quietly slipping in, they had to knock and interrupt the lecture.
Not that most really minded an interruption to said lecture, but MacPherson clearly did.
"Today, class, we will be going over how to identify dark arts and—Mr. Black, are you drinking coffee in my classroom?" MacPherson said as Sirius set the mug to his lips.
Sirius moved the mug, allowing some of his coffee, charmed to be a dark, deep red, drip past his lips. He licked it away and shook his head. "No Sir, no coffee here."
MacPherson eyed the boy suspiciously and stepped to the side, further away from him. "Put the mug away, Black."
"One second, I never feel quite alive if I don't finish," Sirius said, downing the rest of the coffee. He wiped red liquid from his chin before setting the mug away, offering a red-stained smile.
James and Peter looked deliberately downward at the desk, doing their best not to visibly snicker. Sirius had been trying to convince MacPherson that he was actually summoning demons since he first had detention with the man.
Making a show out of evidently drinking "blood?" It was a nice touch. Any other professor would have called the bluff, but MacPherson… well, he seemed cautious.
"As we all know, the dark magic is any magic meant to cause harm to the victim of the spell… oh what's that, Mr. Lupin?" MacPherson said, gesturing to Remus' empty seat. "Don't have anything to add today? Ah, well, that's new for you. Let's move along."
Students throughout the classroom exchanged puzzled looks at this. Peter leaned over to James and whispered, "Was that a joke?"
"I think it was supposed to be," James mumbled back. MacPherson seemed to be waiting for a laugh, and when he didn't get one, continued his lecture.
"Being inherently evil, there have been laws against the dark arts as long as dark arts have been around—oh Mr. Lupin? Still no comment? No critique? Oh, I do think I like the new and improved you, Mr. Lupin," MacPherson said, smiling in the direction of Remus' vacant seat once more.
James and Sirius exchanged unamused glances.
Gerald Jackson's hand shot in the air, a frown fixed to his face.
"Yes, Mr. Jackson?" MacPherson said, sounding bored.
"Actually, Professor, dark arts aren't inherently evil," Gerald said matter-of-factly.
"They're called the dark arts, Mr. Jackson," MacPherson said, arms crossed before his chest.
"Yes, but with the definition of 'intending to do harm,' well, that encompasses jinxes and hexes which can be overall annoying but not necessarily evil," Gerald said.
"Also, aren't most spells entirely legal? Just the unforgivable curses are outlawed," Lisa Stein from Ravenclaw added, her hand raised but having not waited for MacPherson to call on her before speaking.
"Aurors often use what might be considered dark magic, magic that can do harm, to defend themselves and track down dark wizards, which, in itself, doesn't really seem evil," Lily added.
"How would one define 'evil' if claiming that dark arts are inherently evil?" Emmeline asked.
"Is evil simply anything that isn't good or are we speaking of the complete lack of morals?" Gerald added.
"Is anything truly completely evil if we go with the second definition?" said Emmeline.
"Amazing, the Ravenclaws and Evans are stepping in as substitute know-it-alls, it's kind of beautiful," Sirius said softly.
"It really is, I'm inspired," James mumbled before raising his hand. Like the others, he didn't wait for MacPherson to acknowledge him before speaking. "Sir, what about spells that are not intended to do harm, but misuse of said spell could be used to cause harm? Is that spell then a dark spell or is the wizard simply a dark wizard? How much harm do you have to do before you're a dark wizard?"
"Oh, good point, Potter. Take for example, I use a spell on my tea kettle to boil my tea, but if I were to say, use it on someone's bath, would a spell intended for my tea then be dark magic?" said another Ravenclaw, Billy Stebbins.
"Would the tea be evil tea?" Peter asked, raising his hand.
"Of course not, Pete, the bath water would be evil, pay attention," Sirius said.
"But the spell for the tea is what made the bath water evil, so couldn't the tea potentially be evil as well?" Marlene asked with a grin.
"That's what we're debating," James said.
"SILENCE," MacPherson shouted. The class begrudgingly stopped talking. "Fifty points from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw for speaking out of term. If any of you have actual questions rather than philosophical tangents and jokes, you may raise your hand-WHAT IS IT, BLACK?"
Sirius set his hand down. "I only had a question. You said to raise our hands."
MacPherson sighed heavily. "What is your question?"
"So, are you just acting as a substitute while Professor Lupin is out?" Sirius asked. Snickers could be heard through the classroom.
"Get out of my classroom, Black! Ten points from Gryffindor and detention tonight! Get out!" MacPherson said through clenched teeth, pointing at the door.
Sirius mockingly saluted MacPherson before gathering his things. "Looks like notes are your responsibility this class, Prongs," he mumbled, clapping James on the back as he left. James had figured as much before they had even arrived to the class.
"Now, can I continue my lecture or would any of the rest of you like to join Mr. Black in detention?"