[a/n]A rebellious, smart, Harry reacts to a marriage contract.
Harry Does Different ZzzzZl
I, Sirius Orion Black, being of sound mind and body…shut up, Moony…..do hereby declare this my Last Will and Testament. While the Black Family estate is a vast complicated financial empire, my wishes are simple. Draco Malfoy, you are a cruel nasty little boy, everything Mummy Walburga would be proud of. Nothing I want my legacy associated with, but the Family Creed requires an inheritance for a Black. Very well, I leave you sixteen Knuts. Narcissa, if you divorce Lucius and renounce Draco, I leave you one million Galleons.
Remus John Lupin, my best living friend, I leave you one million Galleons. Have a good life, buy nice clothes, jump Nymphadora's bones.
Andromeda Tonks, you were wrongfully expelled from the Black Family. I accept you back with open arms and appoint you the new Head of House Black. Except for listed above, the balance of the Moste Ancient and Moste Noble House of Black is yours.
Harry James Potter, as your Godfather it is my duty to see to your wellbeing. I did a pretty pitiful job of that for a solid decade. What little I was able to see of you, was that you are a brash, impulsive young man who leaps in where the Founders would fear to tread. You also have an amazing cadre of friends one can only acquire through shared experiences and loyalty given. In my opinion, you do not need a guardian. This will fully emancipates you, granting the full rights and responsibilities of an adult wizard. You will have full access and control of the Moste Ancient and Moste Noble House of Potter. I encourage you to solicit the advice of others, whoever you choose, but in the end make your own decisions. Farewell.
"It's earlier than expected, but we knew this would happen." Mrs. Weasley announced "Professor Dumbledore and I wanted to secure your future, Harry. And especially after the bravery of your rescue of our little girl!"
Harry looked around, utterly flummoxed "Err? What're you talking about?"
"Why, Professor Dumbledore acting as your guardian, signed a marriage contract between you and Ginevra, of course." She explained, as if it was a well-known fact.
Ginny grimaced at the use of her fill name, but blushed and curled her arm around his and squealed gleefully "Oh Harry! Isn't it wonderful!"
"I don't think I'm ok with this." Harry did what he could to disentangle himself from the redhead "I mean … don't get me wrong … Ginny, you're pretty enough. Any boy would be lucky, but well, see I remember that time Hagrid saw us in the corridor and how much we looked like my Dad, and well…you, my Mum. And…it, err…kinda grossed me out."
The goblin executor shook his head "That, Lord Potter, would not be wise. You see, a substantial penalty clause was built into the contract should you opt out. It would cost you half of the Potter estate."
"Well, all's not lost." Said Molly, greedily, summoning her daughter with a wave of her hand "Come dear, you'll just have to console yourself while swimming in a poolful of gold."
Ginny looked reluctant, but complied with her mother's command. The Weasley males all gave Harry deeply angry looks.
"What!" he snapped "Try picture snogging YOUR mother! And, Ragnok? Could I see that contract? And if you could specifically point out the penalty clause, please?"
The goblin left his seat, waddled around the table to Harry, with a scroll in hand. "You must understand it was written most specifically to be inescapable. We goblins take pride in giving what we are paid for. Nothing personal, you understand, strictly business." He smiled, showing teeth.
"My cousin watches movies all the time." Harry returned the expression "Michael Corleone used exactly those same words, then in the next scene shot his enemy in the throat and shooting a corrupt police captain in the head. Now …. Ahhh….even if you do mind."
Ragnok looked not the least worried. After all, Muggle matters did not concern him. "You will note…..Traditional Marriage Contract….agreement for raising of children by the Distaff House."
"Excuse me, Mother?" came from Ginny "I would be perfectly capable of raising any children we make!"
Harry actually looked faintly ill, spoke with his eyes closed "Ginny…..I'm sorry….I really can't picture doing with you….what….ugh…..to make babies."
"If I might finish this, Lord Potter." Said Ragnok impatiently "This part is critical…the undersigned herein agrees that should the party of the first part….That would be the aforementioned Harry Potter….. renege on said agreement, he would be liable to pay liquidated damages equal to one-half of the value of the value of the Moste Ancient and Moste Noble House of Potter. And it is signed by Albus Dumbledore acting as guardian." The goblin gave a quite satisfied grunt before passing over the scroll.
"I see." Harry nodded in thought, meanwhile boiling internally "Ragnok, this penalty clause does not indicate that the Moste Ancient and Moste Noble House of Potter must pay …the…errrrr… liquidated damages."
The goblin pulled at his whiskers "Not as such, no, but-"
"Ah-ah!" Harry waggled a finger in a McGonagallish manner "Master Goblin, the LETTER of the contract is everything. And another point, Albus Dumbledore acting as guardian, if Sirius can emancipate me as my guardian and he ALWAYS was my Godfather. Well, then, was there ever a court ruling naming the Headmaster my guardian?"
The goblin pulled at his whiskers "Not as such, no, but-"
"Again with the buts, Master Goblin." Harry pointed out, smirking "So, what we have here is an example of an unenforceable contract. Again, my apologies, Ginny, you're certainly pretty. But the look like Mum thing just makes it *shudder* G'day Weasleys."
Draco, despite the tremendous defeat of being all but disinherited from the Black fortune was laughing.
"Someone MUST pay for this atrocity!" Ragnok howled.
Halfway to the door, Harry paused, and waved a hand at the Headmaster "The contract only says … pay half the value of the House of Potter. It doesn't actually say WHO has to pay. I'd suggest the wizard who signed the contract." Then, leaving the others to stare at each other, stuck his hands in his pockets at ambled out into the corridor heading for Diagon Alley.