Chapter 4: Lies and Threats
"Ems, please, we can't help if you don't tell us-" Lily began but I cut her off, "Lils, honestly-nothing happened; I just lost control with too many thoughts on my mind, Kay? It happens."
James and Remus gave me a pointed look as if they knew what thoughts were going on in my mind, but I glared them off.
"No, this wasn't normal, Ems-you haven't had breakdowns like this ever!" Sirius protested.
Oh yeah? You would think differently if I said you were the cause of my breakdown…
Honestly, he was the last person I needed advice from right now…
It was after all his fault too, kinda….
I shrugged and told him,
"It was nothing Sirius, there is no point in repeating what I'm saying".
I turned my back on them and said as calmly as possible (they were kinda getting on my nerves), "I would like to be left alone now, please."
"Are you sure Artemis?" Lily asked.
"Yes, Lily. I just need to rest and I will clear this mess up."
"Fine Arte, but call us if you need anything." James said quietly as he placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Yes James, I will. Now go on, you have guests to entertain."
I could hear Remus ushering everyone to move outside and close the door till only I and Sirius were left in the room.
"Ems, are you sure you're fine?" Sirius asked I could hear him come near me.
"Yes Pads, it was normal, okay? No need to make such a fuss out of it."
"I-I am just worried about you, love. Do you want me to sit with you?" He was standing right behind him and placed his hands gently on my waist and hugged me lightly. This movement caught me off-guard and I almost gasped but he held me firmly and I leaned into him. He made me face him and kissed my head, I wanted him to hold me this way forever, I wanted him to stay but then remembering I wasn't supposed to be feeling this way I freed myself from his grasp.
"I don't know Pads, I don't think that's a good idea. Why let my stupid problem spoil your fun? No, you go and enjoy the party, I just have to take a rest and be alone-"
Like a freak such as me should be…
He looked a bit disappointed and his face had a hint of sadness, but then he smiled and added, "Of course love, take all the time you need."
After he was gone, I locked the door and walked to the bed, and almost immediately thumped myself on it. I stared at the sealing and waved my wand absently and saw broken particles floating back to their original places, I hummed myself my favourite song (which I only sung to myself when no-one was around me) and immersed myself in dark thoughts…
Apparently, the party didn't last very long after I had my problem. People had left only an hour after my breakdown. Some had left as soon as I locked myself and I figured they were too scared to be in the presence of a dangerous, cranky and mad person like me who was hearing voices in her head (Marlene among them). Frank, Alice, Remus, Lily and Peter had come and said goodbye to me before leaving. As they were leaving I had come out of my room to see them off and saw James and Sirius clearing away the mess from the party.
After several 'goodbye's, 'take care's and 'see you at school's, I walked over to both the animagi and started helping them with their work.
"How are you feeling now, Ems?" James asked while pushing his glasses back to his nose, smiling at me to show me he was totally cool with my problem.
Well, you idiot, I know you're faking it. Being your best friend for nearly six years has taught me a few things about you…
I smirked and then put on my most decent smile, "I am fine now. The rest really helped." I half-lied. The rest just helped my body but obviously didn't calm my mind. I know this sounds crazily creepy, but the song I sing helps me put my to rest. I don't know how but the lyrics are just…
I can't explain it but they just soothe me from inside.
(AN: - Guys, this 'song' may not be making much sense to you right now, but trust me it is okay element further in the story. The name and lyrics will be revealed in a few chapters.)
"You sure? You just spaced out." He snorted.
I rolled my eyes and said, "Nothing- was just thinking of something."
"Something or someone?" He smirked and nodded his head towards Sirius who lazily sitting on the sofa and yawning.
I shot him a glare and shook my head, "James, you need to stop with these jokes. They are not funny. I already stupidly let my feelings developed. Honestly- wasn't this breakdown enough? Imagine what would happen if-"
I stopped myself mid-sentence and stared wide-eyed at James. I had told him the cause of my breakdown….
Holy shit, what if he told Sirius now? No, no, no, no, no, nooooo…..
"So you were thinking about him? James asked me wide-eyed.
"I knew it. I was wondering how this happened all of a sudden, you were flooded with all these thoughts and you were blaming yourself for liking and doubting Sirius with McKinnon and all that bullshit. When in reality, you did nothing wrong!" He snarled at me.
I looked away from him guiltily.
"I'm gonna tell Sirius."
I stared at him in horror and held his arm, "No, James-you promised me you wouldn't."
"Things are different now. He'd like to know that the girl he loves is getting cranky over him. We can't put you in danger Ems. And if it's because of this stupid thing, I'm not gonna clear it up." He reprimanded firmly.
His words swirled in my head, "the girl he loves". For a moment I wanted to believe that it was true but I had told myself it wasn't and bit my lip shakily.
"James, please don't-"
But he was already walking towards Sirius and I struggled to keep him from moving.
Just then he shouted, "Hey Sir!- mphhhh phhhh" I put my hand over his mouth and stared in horror as Sirius gave us a confused look, got up from the sofa and walked towards us.
He ran a hand through his hair and raised an eyebrow, "What are you two up two?"
James attempted to speak but I muffled him and looked at Sirius, smiling innocently, "N-nothing."
He narrowed his eyes and I shrieked in horror as he licked my hand and I wrenched it away from his mouth.
"Em was saying that she-"
"Ah! Th-That if you would like to play quidditch tomorrow?" I came up with the best excuse I could. Right, as if he wouldn't suspect that at all.
Good one Artemis, you idiot! That's what you learn after spending five years with the marauders!?
"Uhm, you sure?" He gave me a quizzical look. He gaze shifted to James's and they had a mental conversation which I figured was Sirius asking him what the hell was going on. James began speaking but using my Legilimency I mentally told him, if you mumble even a single word Prongs, I swear I will skewer your mind….
He glanced at me wide-eyed and then glared at me.
"Nothing Pads, like Em said-about quidditch-will you play"
Sirius narrowed his eyes at the both of us and then shrugged, "Yeah sure. But right now, I'm tired-I'm gonna go to bed." He stifled a yawn and headed straight to his room.
Then I turned towards James furiously and that idiot of a boywas smirking at me.
"Are you completely mad!? You-you were gonna tell him!" I smacked him on the head.
He winced and then laughed, "Oh come on Ems, you know me. They don't call me a marauder for nothing."
He winked at me while messing up my hair and I glared at him.
"I would have told him if it wasn't for your death threat." He scoffed.
I smiled sweetly, "Oh Prongs, that was not a joke, I will do it and spill all your dirty little secrets if you tell him anything."
"I don't have any dirty secrets!"
"Okay fine. Then, you won't mind me telling the others about a certain boy who peed himself on the bed in the third year." Now, it was me smirking and him getting shocked.
"How did you-
I winked at him and made a dash for my own room, so he couldn't maul me to death. I laughed as I removed my clothes and put on my nightdress and jumped into bed. The minute, I closed my eyes and fell asleep…
I know, I know this very late, but I have my exams and my workload has increased a lot so I'm getting very less time to write. So, please don't be mad at me!
Also I have updated pictures of the characters on my blog on "tumblr" by the name of "shine2004". Go, check it out.
The next chapter is almost complete, so I will be uploading it this week itself.
Bye for now and please review guys!