Hermione's brilliant plan to annoy Headmistress Umbridge goes awry when she's called on the carpet to explain to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall exactly what she and the Weasley twins have been up to. Mysterious packages have been arriving for the Hogwarts faculty, and nobody outside the DA seems to know what's going on . . .

Written 11/27/13 for the "Jury of Your Peers" competition. Hagrid tries his hand at writing a sonnet for Madame Maxime.

Snape sees something in Harry's mind which needs fixing. He pays a social call to number four, Privet Drive, to show them exactly what he thinks about their child-raising methods.

Someone's spying on Filch, and he'll never guess who. (Short fluff/crack fic I had stuck in my head . . .)

Despite having been in phone and text contact for years, Mycroft only meets Lestrade face-to-face for the first time at Sherlock's funeral. An initial request for coffee blossoms into something more, until Mycroft has to admit something he'd much rather not acknowledge: he and Gregory Lestrade, together, are inevitable.

John is MI6. His assignment is to seduce a tall, posh git named Sherlock. Luckily, this happens to correspond well to John's non-assassination-based skills. (Really just an excuse for kinky porn.)

companion scene for "Dear John." Sherlock shows up at 221B, as requested, ready to either apologize or beg. (Will make more sense if you've read "Dear John" first.)

With Sherlock dead, John eventually (under duress) makes a profile on an online dating site. And falls into a long-distance relationship with an enigmatic partner who reminds him of Sherlock in all the right ways. (Hint: it turns out to be Sherlock.) Updated in real time!

Five times John touched Sherlock for totally plausible non-romantic reasons, plus one with no plausible deniability whatsoever. (Six 221B ficlets.)

AU where John gets a new job bartending at a gay nightclub. He takes the job for the money, but he keeps at it because he loves watching Sherlock dance. Until one night, when Sherlock suggests they make it something rather more.

What does DI Lestrade do when Mycroft Holmes aggravates him? 900 words of kinky shenanigans, that's what.

"John, you're gay!" The words erupted without Sherlock realizing he'd said them aloud, until John's sudden glare called his attention to it. (In other words: Sherlock's got no tact whatsoever, John's furious, and the Yarders are about to have some very interesting water cooler conversation.)

John overhears Mycroft belittling Sherlock's being gay as "just a phase." So he snogs Sherlock in front of his brother, apologizes for insisting they stay in the closet, and pointedly tells Mycroft to run along. Only problem is, John's not gay, and Sherlock's got no experience with any of this. For once, the consulting detective is completely out of his depth.

During the Battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort casts a de-aging curse at Harry. Snape gets in the way of the curse, though, which de-ages him seventeen years. Snape is stuck at the age of twenty after Voldemort's defeat. When Hermione and her friends come back to school in the fall to start their seventh year, they're surprised to see Snape is still de-aged and looking for a cure.

Sherlock may have physically survived his abduction, but in his mind he'll never be whole again. John understands PTSD, understands what Sherlock is going through, and is determined to be patient. Angst, hurt/comfort, and eventual Johnlock as Sherlock tries to rebuild his ability to trust. (Trigger warnings for oblique descriptions of past torture and rape.)

Sherlock is telepathic, John's a broadcasting empath, and both of them really ought to keep their secrets hidden. Somehow, though, it doesn't work out that way. (First installment in my parapsychology AU, in which several of the main Sherlock cast have psychic powers. I'm intending an assortment of short stories in the same universe, but not necessarily one continuous plot.)

Sherlock tries to sneak an up-close view of John's eyes, to get an answer once and for all on the subject of "what color are those eyes, anyway?" Mostly-PWP ensues :-)

Sherlock's impossible demands for silence when he's thinking give John an idea: if John can't stop making noises, at least some earplugs can stop Sherlock from hearing them. Sherlock responds well to sensory deprivation, as it turns out - really, surprisingly well. John can't help but take it to the next level . . .

The danger of having a detective for a flatmate is that he's liable to notice *everything.* Which is why John is less than thrilled when Sherlock comes across him browsing a sex toy shop. As it turns out, Sherlock is indeed able to deduce quite a bit about John's sex life based on what toys he was looking at - so Sherlock buys all the important ones. Surely John will get the hint.

A fan sends Sherlock a set of nude drawings of John - evidence of his art modeling days in uni. Sherlock seizes the chance to do some comparison sketches. And of course John can't say no. To much of anything, it turns out.