Bella Swan, early in her sojourn with the mole people, chooses the wrong door. Now she's pregnant, Carlisle's sleeping with the wrong Volturi, and Aro's plan is falling to pieces. A spinoff to "Painting Red Madonnas" by The Carnivorous Muffin, and cowritten with her.

Renesmee had read about how in the past people had a lot of shame about sex. Certainly you wouldn't be having sex on a daily basis, loud sex at that, loud enough that your hybrid daughter with super-hearing could hear you. Renesmée wished her parents would take note.

Newbie Auror Lily Evans wasn't quite sure what she expected from her career as a crime fighter in a society free of crime, but fighting artistic teens, German conspirators and multiplying hot guys was not it. A dystopian Harry Potter AU, as inspired by Psycho-Pass. Genre and character tags may change.

In which Harry, a deer, discusses the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything with Lord Voldemort, a religious fanatic. This fic is a spinoff to "A Cloven Conundrum" and a mistake.

In which the protagonist of the Harry Potter series is put to the cute but disinterested animal test: if your hero can be replaced by a cute but disinterested animal, is he really that proactive?

The anatomically incorrectly titled tale of a deer called Hairy, or Harry, and his questions.