He´s the one.
I didn´t see him whole Wednesday, it could be that we just didn´t share any classes together, but I had a feeling it was something else. His hurt expression the day I confronted him… he was shocked that was clear.
It had been a disaster, but at least now I know something about him. He doesn't hide his name just because he doesn´t want any friends. The way he had panicked when I said his name, there had to be more to it than just that.
Sirius Black surely is a man of mysteries.
I looked for him Thursday, though I didn´t have to, not long after I entered the school he was right in front of me. Before I had no time to say anything, he had grabbed my wrist and dragged me away, without saying anything. James and Peter smirked to me.
He dragged me into an empty classroom.
"How many people have you told?!" he half-yelled as soon as he had closed the door. Sirius had his arms crossed and he looked mad, at me, he looked mad at me.
"No one" I answered truthfully. He looked doubtful.
"No one?" he asked to make sure. I nodded. Sirius looked down and seemed to think, I don't think he expected that I hadn´t told anyone, I can use that for my advantage. "What do you want?" he asked carefully.
Just as carefully I answered; "I want to be your friend" I smiled, but he didn´t look at me, the floor seemed to have taken his interest.
It looked like he frowned, "I already told you I'm not interested in getting friends"
"Oh really?" I teased, "then why did you drag me into an empty classroom"
Sirius didn´t look up as he answered, "To talk to you alone" he stated confused.
Now I´m confused, the guy doesn´t get a joke, was it because my joke was bad? No that can't be, I always make good jokes. Why didn´t he get my joke? It was pretty obvious, did he just, act like he didn´t get it to be funny?
I tried to read his face, it was hard seeing as he still stared at the floor. There was no trace of a joke in what I could see.
"I won't tell anyone" I tried, to get a reaction out of him, and to mention it, my plan had been a failure this far, so I had to save the last pieces. Or well… not a total failure, he had never said this much to me before.
He paused a little, then asked; "Promise?" Sirius is not a man with big words, or words generally.
"Promise" I repeated, I expected at least some kind of reaction from him, just a little smile or a 'thank you', which I really shouldn´t have, as soon as I had said it, he turned around and walked out of the door.
"And then he just walked out?" Peter asked confused, I had told them all about what had happened between me and Sirius ((I had of course not mentioned his name)).
"Yeah, I really don't know what he is on to, how can anyone be that hard to read?" I asked, not actually expecting an answer.
"So he´s a closed book, but that's not gonna stop you, right?" James asked, he knows I'm not the kind of person who just gives up, even though things may seem a little tough.
We were in the cafeteria, Sirius was like all the other days nowhere to be seen.
"Of course not!" I exclaimed, "but he´s is not just a closed book, he´s like a book that has a really gorgeous cover, but no title, so you don't really know if you wanna read it, but it looks good, so you think you want to read it, but turns out there's a lock on the book, therefore you can't anyways."
"That was very detailed, have you been thinking about that?" Peter asked, it was easy to spot the amusement in his voice, I nodded, "maybe you just need a new plan."
"You could perhaps just find someone else, I´m sorry, but it doesn't seem like he wants you man" James offered quietly.
"Good idea James, why don't we both go find someone who wants us," I said sarcastically.
"Oh, yeah, right"
A new plan is what I need, having the secret didn´t work the way I expected, but at least now he trusts me, which is good, really good in fact. The thing I need is for him to see how nice I am, I have to not be all over him all the time, because he clearly doesn't like that.
I have to walk carefully now if I do just the slightest thing wrong, I have a feeling that it will ruin it all.
Right now, I am waiting for James and Peter, we agreed to go to James´s place after school "to do our homework". Which roughly translates to; I do my homework, while they do theirs for about half an hour and then play video games.
I look at my phone to not look awkward, you know, not really doing anything, just scrolling awkwardly around, not really doing anything, I look up to see if they are coming soon, instead, I see no other than Sirius Black.
"Hi" I smiled at him.
He stopped in the middle of it all, staring at me, his face looked puzzled. I continued to smile in the need of something better to do. Sirius sighed, "Hi," he said simply and began walking again, not smiling.
"He really is weird," said Peter behind me
"But little Rem Rem here likes it, am I right?" James teased.
James and Peter are my two best friends, I have known both of them forever, they matter the most to me in this world. I never doubt that they will help me no matter what, that's what friends are for, helping each other and make them happy.
That´s what I want to be to Sirius, it doesn´t seem like he has a lot of people in his life. With no friends at all in school, he has no social media so that really doesn't help me investigate.
Something about him attracted me, I really, really wanted to get to know him, be his friend, and if he wants to, his boyfriend. I need him to talk to me, at this pace, we will never get together.
/remember to review/comment, it makes me happy, and inspires me to continue/