Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

Chapter 1

Hello! The time setting for these is after the war. Most of whom are in Harry's year go back to redo their seventh year so they'll have classes with the present seventh years. Colin, Snape and Fred (although I dunno if I'll use him) are alive. Seamus and Dennis will be doing most of the pranking/rule breaking but if you request others I'll write that too. I'll take requests!

Disclaimer: I don't own this. If I did Colin wouldn't be dead and he and Dennis would be in the books more

I will not tell the first years they have to give their most prized possession to Mcgonagall as a payment for staying at school.

Dennis and Seamus sat breakfast with huge grins on their faces. It was the first full day of term and they had plenty of pranks and rule breaking to do.

Harry, Hermione, Neville and Colin sat with them, they chatted as they ate their breakfast.

Headmistress McGonagall sat in her usual seat with the other professor's. It was rather quiet for the morning, or at least it was until a tearful first year scurried up to the front. She laid down a folded blanket, much to the headmistress' bewilderment.

Dennis and Seamus giggled. Harry, Neville and Colin glanced at them amusement.

"What did you do?" Hermione glared at them with disapproval.

"Nothing," they answered with their most innocent smile.

"Hmm," she hummed, clearly not believing them.

Another first year, this time a boy, dropped his teddy bear off. He let out a small sob before running off.

"What on earth?" Headmistress Mcgonagall said out loud.

"Alright, what did you do?" Colin asked his brother with a knowing grin.

"Nothing," Dennis smiled innocently.

"You're a horrible liar, Denny."

This time, four or five first years came up and dropped off their items.

McGonagall stood up.

"What on Merlin's green earth are you doing?"

One of the first year's spoke up. "We're giving you our payment."

McGonagall's eyes narrowed. "Your payment? For what?"

"For staying at school," another answered, confusion lacing his words. "Don't we have to give you something of ours so we can stay at school."

"What? Who told you-" McGonagall stopped suddenly.

"MR. FINNIGAN! MR. CREEVEY!" she bellowed. "My office. NOW!"

'We almost got away with it," Dennis said to Seamus, snickering.

"I have something better for tomorrow," Seamus said mischievously. 'We could-OW!" McGonagall had marched down and grabbed them both by the ear. She dragged them out of the hall, muttering furiously. This left Harry, Neville and Colin laughing hysterically while Hermione rolled her eyes.

I will not give Professor Snape an early birthday hug

"Are you sure about this?" Dennis whispered to Seamus. "He might kill me. Or poison me," he shivered.

Seamus smiled encouragingly. "The worst he'll do is make you smell his greasy hair. You'll be fine."

"Hey guys," Harry and Colin sat down next to them. Harry reached for a glass of pumpkin juice, gulping it down quickly.

"What are you planning now?" Colin smirked at the pair.

Dennis clutched his chest dramatically. "Dearest brother, that hurts. It hurts my poor little heart."

"I'm sure," Colin snorted.

Seamus spotted Professor Snape walking into the Great Hall. "Go!" he pushed Dennis.

Harry and Colin watched as Dennis stood up and walked straight over to Snape, stopping right in front of him.

"What is it Mr. Creevey?" Snape asked irritated.

Dennis gulped before he lunged himself at the professor.

Professor Snape spluttered.

"Happy early birthday!" Dennis shouted before running back to his table.

I will not question Snape about his hygiene habits while in potions class.

Potions is boring, Seamus decided one day in class. He was just glad Colin, his partner, was very good at potions.

"Seamus are you paying attention?" Colin demanded, waving his hand in front of his face.

"Sorry," Seamus said sheepishly.

Colin rolled his eyes with a smile. "I can't believe Dennis hugged Snape," he murmured.

"I can't believe Snape didn't retaliate," Seamus said thoughtfully.

"Maybe he's changed like Harry said," Colin shrugged.

A smirk appeared on Seamus' face.

"Uh oh," Colin sighed.

"Only one way to find out," Seamus raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Finnigan?"

"Professor, do you have good hygiene habits?" Seamus asked casually.

Everyone in the class stopped what they were doing to watch the exchange.

"Excuse me?" Snape growled.

"It's a rather easy question, professor," Seamus insisted.

Snape gritted his teeth. "My hygiene habits are just fine, thank you."

"Really?" Seamus snorted a bit. "Because I wouldn't have guessed by your greasy hair and slimy looking skin."

A flow of snorts was heard throughout the room, even from Colin.

"Get back to work Mr. Finnigan," Snape's eye twitched.

"After you answer my question truthfully," Seamus persisted. 'Do you even own shampoo?"

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" Snape barked.

"I didn't hear a yes."

"Fifty points!"

"Seamus, stop," Colin whispered frantically. "Please!"

"You still haven't answered my question," Seamus rather enjoyed seeing the vein on Snape's forehead become visible, it was a contrast between the purple vein and his pale skin.


"Well, could you at least use it?"