Chapter 3

A/N: I own nothing except some nasty cold medicine

Dear Malfoy,

I dislike you very much! I dislike Moldypants even more right now, I don't know why I should have to be friends with a ferretfaced git like you. You called Hermione a bad name. Her punching you was awesome. I'm awesome!

Harry, totally awesome, Potter

Dear Harry,

I'm glad you are reaching out to Draco. He seemed...to care when he got your letter. At least he didn't read it to me, for which I am very thankful.

Lord Voldemort

Dear Hermione,

Moldypizza crust wants me to be friends with Malfoy, the ferret needs more friends. I'm writing him because I'm bored and Ron's not writing back. Did he lose his quill? We should get more people writing Malfoy. Then he'll have a ton of friends, also, maybe we could convince the owls to poop on Moldy himself, that'd be hilarious.

Harry, beyond awesome, Potter.

Dear Harry,

Ron's not writing because he's mad at you for showing me that picture. He thinks I want to be his girlfriend...no thank you. Also, he said you said something about his sister? Do you fancy her, Harry? Cause I think she likes you too.

Hermione, never going to be Ron's girlfriend, Granger

Dear Draco,

Hermione wrote me saying you needed some more friends, since I don't have many myself, I figured I'd write you. Do you like Crumblehorned Snoracks? Or Blimmy Piffs? What's your favorite subject in school? I love Care For Magical Creatures and Charms. I don't care for potions because Professor Snape is very close minded.

Luna Lovegood

Dear Potter,

What the bloody hell! Now you've got Loony Lovegood writing me too? I don't understand half of what she says! I am going to kill Lord Voldemort for this! It was all his idea!

Draco Malfoy.

Dear Draco,

NO! I get to kill Lord Moldysocks! It says so in the prophesy!

Harry, I'm going to kill him, Potter