Summary
"Merlin's saggy ballsack, since when has Granger had decent tits?" Their affair started in a ballroom, centred on a series of jewellery heists, migrated to a closet, and became very complicated in the process. Being stuck between a rock and a hard place didn't begin to describe it, especially when Hermione's rock was a blood magic curse and the hard place was Severus Snape. Rated M