Sparky and Vodka

My name's Riley, I'm a human slave. I come from this little planet called Earth, never take a vacation there, and slavery was my only way off. I took it upon myself to irritate my 'master's' as much as possible, you know, decrease my 'wantability' until finally Dyson bought me. Anyway, let me tell you about how I met Seamus Zelazny Harper and how he inadvertently changed my life.