The Wonderful World of fanfiction and the ravings of an author

Caution - Do not read if easily offended, over 40 years of age, is a twilight fan. Or all three together. Or two. Or more. Actually...do not read if you're a real, breathing human being. M for nasty words, scenes of a sexual (?) nature, blood and gore, drug abuse. By the way...if you take any of this seriously you are...as my friend Snape eloquently puts it...a 'dunderhead'.