Harry Porno and the Sorcerer's Boner

This is why we can't have nice things. A guy from my class decided he wanted to write a fanfiction and rewrote the first chapter of the first Harry Potter book, and then said I should publish it so he can see the reviews. I'm mostly publishing it out of my own curiosity as well. Again, remember, I didn't write this and please don't judge my other works based on this.