Just Took a DNA Test, Turns Out I'm 100 That Birthday Bitch
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Summary
"So you know who I am!" he said, grin still plastered in place. "Good, that makes things easy. I just got the best score on my report card. One-hund-red-per-cent, can you believe it?" He pulled the DNA test results from his coat, waving it in the air. "So, I'm here to celebrate. I'll start with some of those cornets, the chocolate kind."