The Aurseize
Status
Summary
After being shagged and humiliated by Draco Malfoy during Hogwarts, Jade gets a chance to seek her revenge 8 years later when he is wanted for murder. With the help of Harry Potter, a professional Aurseize, will she be able to catch him? Laughter ensues.
The Aurseize
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273.3k words
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- #1 Moving Day
- #2 The Sorting Hat
- #3 Defending Malfoy
- #4 Misunderstandings
- #5 Ghost Busted
- #6 8 Years Later
- #7 Aurseizing Makes Life Shorter
- #8 Surburban Vampire
- #9 Malfoy Manor
- #10 Draco Malfoy The Arse Pimple
- #11 Pervnas Henley
- #12 To Save A Wand and Fishes
- #13 Naked, Wet and Cuffed
- #14 Dinner With Harry and Family
- #15 Parallel Park The Macarena
- #16 Typical Muggle Prison
- #17 Goblin Apprehension
- #18 Dinner and An Explosion
- #19 Arse Stabber
- #20 Draco's Freedom
- #21 Ugly, Fatty and Both
- #22 Goats
- #23 Rubeus Hagrid
- #24 Ugly Headbands
- #25 Prestissimo
- #26 Have A Fucking Cookie
- #27 Gifting Brooms
- #28 Shirley Caine
- #29 Harry's Fan Girls Attack
- #30 Fortune Cookie Love
- #31 Ring Around The Rosy
- #32 Dressing Jade
- #33 Flaming Drinks and Sparks
- #34 Beat Up A Cow
- #35 Fiendfyre in The Memorial Home
- #36 People Are Harder To Replace
- #37 Vegan Doughnuts and Soymilk
- #38 Aunt Muriel VS Marjorie
- #39 One Of Those Days
- #40 Draco In The Sky With Diamonds
- #41 Spying On Malfoy
- #42 Breakfast at Draco's
- #43 Scorched
- #44 Moving In
- #45 A Soapy Scene
- #46 The Nightmare Warning
- #47 Everyone Loves Jade's Pancakes
- #48 The Jester Revealed
- #49 Cage On Fire
- #50 Saved By The Centaurs
- #51 Home
- #52 The New Aurseize
- #53 Touching A Bloke's Head
- #54 Cuffed To A Bed
- #55 Dahlia Noor
- #56 Coming Out Of The Closet
- #57 Kneazle Paintings
- #58 Reunion Of A Lifetime
- #59 Mud Monster
- #60 Shoot Shoots
- #61 Zane
- #62 Bullet Scar
- #63 Jack In The Box
- #64 Naked and Heartbroken Babe
- #65 Harry’s Kneazle Painting
- #66 Dahlia's File
- #67 Magical Menagerie
- #68 Dahlia's Gift
- #69 Scarlett Fucking Cilla
- #70 The Black Fox
- #71 Charles Parker's Love Potion
- #72 Rita's Purple Toads
- #73 Don't Finish That Whiskey
- #74 Silhouette
- #75 Rising From The Grave
- #76 Dig You Up
- #77 A Camden Wedding
- #78 MIA
- #79 Horse Shit On A Hot Day
- #80 The Unexpected and Uninvited
- #81 Death Eaters
- #82 Respect The Pub
- #83 Goyle
- #84 Fenrir Greyback
- #85 Love All Over Again
- #86 A Head Full Of Surprises
- #87 Sweatshops
- #88 Bitten
- #89 Lucid Dreaming
- #90 The Unbreakable Vow
- #91 The Dark Forest Chase
- #92 Under The Moon
- #93 Heartbreakers
- #94 Five Months Later
- #95 Milli Verchelli
- #96 Back On The Job
- #97 Cho Chang
- #98 Lilah Umbridge
- #99 Harry's Love
- #100 Madame Rosmerta's Illness
- #101 Changing Pants
- #102 Mrs Potter
- #103 Rita and John Lennon
- #104 Code 23
- #105 Bertie's Trick Or Treaters
- #106 Draco In Pain Is A Nightmare
- #107 The Final Place
- #108 How To Kill A Jellybean
- #109 Pandora's Jellybeans
- #110 Faint Of Heart
- #111 Mud Wrestling Champion
- #112 Attempted Kidnap
- #113 I Love This Chapter
- #114 Miss World
- #115 Shooting Pinkies
- #116 Tofu Saved The Day
- #117 Got The World On A String
- #118 Rosmerta's Death
- #119 Same Song, Different Variation
- #120 Apprehending Cathy Strudel
- #121 Sage Hamleigh
- #122 Tom and Jerry
- #123 Harry's Headquarters
- #124 Alfie
- #125 Bruise Like A Peach
- #126 Cedric Diggory
- #127 The Arizona Sisters
- #128 Doesn't Matter
- #129 Edward In Noaptea Vinator
- #130 I'm In A Zoo
- #131 The Chalice
- #132 Martyrs Of The Battle
- #133 Romania
- #134 Turkey and Fred Season
- #135 Child Services
- #136 Pregnancy Tests
- #137 Rainbows, Roses and O'Hara
- #138 Sage Malfoy
- #139 Real Women Propose
- #140 Neighborhood Sex Offender
- #141 Seraphine Potter
- #142 Milk and Cookies
- #143 Gilderotic Lockhard
- #144 Aurseize Supervisor
- #145 Unsettling Love
- #146 Aurseize Interviews
- #147 Potter Is Dead
- #148 Baby O' Hara
- #149 Beating Accents Out Of Arses
- #150 Irish Beef Pies
- #151 Allen's Memory
- #152 Me Lovely Wife
- #153 Aughnanure Castle
- #154 Voldemort Couldn't Kill Him
- #155 Mandrakes
- #156 Ginny and Zane's Wedding
- #157 October 13th
- #158 A Triple Threat
- #159 Robin, Rosmerta and Alfie
- #160 The Life Of An Aurseize