Unconditionally: The Opposite Sex

"Girls are like ravenous bats, Pronglet. Compliment them once and they'll all swoop down on you wanting more, more, MORE until you are a bleeding mess on the ground getting pecked at by vultures as kneazles claw at your face-" "Where are you going with this, Padfoot?" - How Sirius and Remus turned Harry off romance. An Unconditionally one-shot.