Harry Potter and That Guy with the Dumb Purple Hair

I'm an average kind of guy. Average grades, average lack of friends, average magical wizardly powers- Just plain average, I guess. 'With a sinking feeling, I threw the letter to the floor and curled up on my bed. I never should've gotten my hopes up, really. I mean, seriously- who'd want to write to me, anyway? I was just the target of a tap tap tap tap TAP TAP.'