Didn't She Care About Me?

My heart beat increased. It was impossible. I watched my mom die. I was at her funeral. But if my mom was really dead, why was I seeing her now? She stood across the street only a few meters away. She didn't look at me, but if she did what would happen? Would she have an explanation as to why she didn't tell us? Didn't she want to be in life? Didn't she care about me and dad?