Harry Potter and the Unrefusable Offer

Voldie's dead, Harry just wants to be left alone. As if! You don't kill a Baddie like Voldie without people noticing. Now EVERYBODY wants Harry, not just the Quidditch teams. Multiverse cameos, character bashing, Harry/female canon character not telling! . Hetero!Harry don't get used to it from me , no spoilers, non-Epilogue compliant. M for language, smoochies; no aardvarking.