Reasons why I should never have left the Shire

Bilbo Baggins laments and lists all the many reasons he should have never left the Shire. For one thing, he's left his handkerchief behind (a sign of bad luck in his family). Leave suggestions below! Caution: Insanity awaits. Don't say I didn't warn you when you end up inhaling your beverage in the morning. You shouldn't be drinking when reading a fanfic labeled humor. Now up: