Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe

Books and Film One

Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe Books and Film One

DISCLAIMER: Daria was created by Glen Eichler and is the property of MTV Viacom. Harry Potter is the creating of JK Rowling and is the property of JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, and Wizarding World. I own neither franchise. I do lay claim to my OC's.

This story is written for my amusement and ego gratification, not for profit. If you are enjoying, please write a positive review and post it.

ADVISORY: Foul language. One of the characters is not a happy camper.

Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe* Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe* Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe


Julia hung up after talking to Daria. She frowned. Daria had warned her that that Highland was a Muggle town and that it was boring most of the time. Boring and stupid, she'd said. Julia hadn't taken her seriously but she knew better now.

Despite the hot weather and the architecture, Highland reminded her of many of the older industrial towns in Northern England: run-down and depressed, howbeit much sunnier and much hotter. The area around the hotel comprised mostly of government offices, some firms that had catered to the oil business, and a couple of antique stores that were just hanging on. A lot of the streets around the hotel either had buildings that had been closed up or spaces where buildings once stood but had since been torn down. Daria did tell her about a way to contact the local magical community. She resolved to herself that she would find the Los Girasoles restaurant.

Her Mum knocked on the door. "I need to use the phone," she said. "Did you find your friend?"

"I did," said Julia. "I finally got through to her. She said that she didn't get back from Hogwarts until yesterday morning."

"At least she's here," her Mum replied. "Imagine having to stay here all day without knowing anyone."

Julia shuddered at the thought.

"Does she have family here?" asked her Mum.

"She says that her Mum and Dad live here," said Julia. "They both work."

"Does she have any brothers or sisters?" asked her Mum.

"She says she has two sisters," said Julia. "Both of them are younger than she is."

"Do either of them have magic?" asked Julia's Mum.

"She says no," said Julia. "Besides, her Mum and Da are Muggles."

"Well, she might be surprised," her Mum replied. "Sometimes little ones seem hopelessly Muggle, then suddenly they turn out to be witches or wizards. That can happen both in Wizarding and non-Wizarding families alike."

"So if her parents both work, does these people have a nanny?"

"No," Julia replied.

"So how do they cope with school being out?" said her Mum. "I don't think they can be taken to work."

"Daria said that her sisters are in some sort of day camp," said Julia. "She's worried that she may be made to join them."

Her Mum stood silently, clearly thinking.

"You know," she said. "That might not be such a bad thing, especially if we have to remain here until August. A little more experience learning to handle children your age might not be such a bad thing."

"But Mum," said Julia. "They're all likely Muggles."

"It might be good for you to learn to deal with Muggles and that camp might be a safe environment," said her Mum. "You might not have to go there all summer, but it might be better than being stuck on the set with nothing to do." said her Mum.

Julia was dubious about having her entire summer in a day camp with Muggles. "Daria seems to think that some of the local witches and wizards hold classes over the summer," she said.

"Does she know when they start or how long they last?" asked her Mum.

"No," Julia said dejectedly. "She's trying to find out."

"I think that packing you off to this day camp might be a good thing after all," said her Mum.

Day camp, thought Julia. With Muggles. She didn't know what to think. If she was a Pureblood, she might be headed to some hell on Earth with a crowd of Texas Muggles. On the other hand, she was a half-blood, despite the wizards and witches on her family tree.

It might not be so bad.



She hung up the phone. So Julia was in town. This might be interesting, one way or another. She wondered how Julia was going to cope.

The next morning she got up well before she was used to. This air travel thing messed up my biological clock, she thought grumpily. She looked at the clock: it said 5:00 AM. She remembered the hot water wars with Quinn and Ronnie and decided that she'd better take a shower. She took one, then started combing her hair.

She opened her dresser to see what she had to wear. She knew she'd grown a little while she was at Hogwarts: her uniform still fit, but it was tighter than it had been when she first got on the train. She already decided she was going to go back to dressing like a normal kid: wherever she spent the day, the last thing she wanted to do was roast in clothing made for Britain's much cooler climate. She frowned when she put on the first couple of tees—they were a little tight and she'd probably have to get rid of them. One of her shorts, a pair that had been just too big for her before she left for Hogwarts, now fit fine. She put those on, along with a pair of socks and sneakers.

Somebody, either Quinn or Veronica, flushed the toilet and then ran some water to wash their hands. Everybody else was getting up.

She looked at the clock. It was now about ten until six.

She wondered how her Mom and Dad would handle her being home. She doubted that they'd let her spend the day in: she'd probably have to spend the day either with Dad or at Mom's law office.

Well, she knew how to deal with that. She decided to start unpacking her extendable suitcase and putting things away. One of the first things she discovered were the souvenir shirts and gifts she'd gotten for Mom and her sisters. She'd need to pass those out.

She walked into the kitchen to get breakfast. She half-expected her choice to magically appear on her plate. I've been spoiled, she thought. I'm going to have to get used to doing it myself again.

Her Mom was already up and dressed.

"Good morning, Daria," she said.

"Good morning, Mom," she replied.

"So what's the deal for today?" she said. "Am I going to go to summer camp, or do I get to stay home?"

"Neither," said her Mom, "you'll be spending the day with me at the office. I don't think I can get you in to day camp until next week and I suspect you've learned how to study quietly."

"I can bring something to read," said Daria. She'd already decided that she'd better play it safe and take something Mundie to read. Probably a novel or history, she thought. She'd probably go for a classic: College seemed as far away as the day she started pre-school, but she probably ought to get at least one or two of the classics under her belt this summer. There was that Jane Austen novel she'd bought shortly before she packed to go to Hogwarts. She hadn't put it in her suitcase when she and Dad set off, so it was probably on her shelf somewhere.

Veronica and Quinn came in a short time later. Both girls were wearing shorts and Camp Craig tee shirts. "Good morning, Mom!" said Quinn.

"Good morning, Girls," said Helen.

Quinn looked at Daria and what she was wearing, then said "Is Daria coming with us?"

"Not today," said Helen. "The second Summer Session ends on Friday and the next one doesn't start until Monday. She'll be going to the office with me."

"Excuse me, I want some more coffee before we set off." She stood up to get some more coffee. Ronnie mouthed "Boring!" while her back was turned, causing her eldest sister to grin.

Their Dad came in a minute later. "Hey, girls! Ready for camp?"

"Yeah!" Quinn and Veronica chorused. Daria thought that Ronnie sounded more enthusiastic than Quinn.

"Let's sit down and have breakfast first, then off we go!" said Jake.

"Great!" said Ronnie.

Daria smiled as she listened to her youngest sister. The kid is growing up, she thought fondly.

Her Mom looked at her watch. "Well, we'd better go," she said. "See you all this evening!" She kissed Jake goodbye and headed for the front door. Daria followed behind her, then got into her Mom's car.

Helen started up the car and backed out of the driveway. "Today's likely to be a long one," she said. "I hope you've brought something to keep you busy."

"I brought a Jane Austen novel," said Daria. "I think that'll keep me busy much of the day. I might want to borrow some computer paper to write on in case I get inspired."

"I'm sure we've got plenty to spare," said Helen. She drove silently down River Run Road to the intersection that would take them to US Highway 87, the Interstate, and eventually Midland. At the light, she turned to Daria and said "So tell me more about your visit with the Fink-Nottles."



Julia awoke the next morning as the sunlight burned through her room's curtain and reached her eyelids. This small hotel room was so unlike the room she shared with other Slytherin First-Years: at Hogwarts, the Slytherin dorms had either been underground or, in one or two cases, had windows facing the lake.

Her Mum would be up soon if she wasn't already. She scurried to the bathroom, used the loo, then took a shower afterwards. She'd just finished drying herself off when her Mum knocked on the door and said "Ah, good, you're already up. We need to get ready for the day." Julia hastily retreated to her room and began brushing her hair. She'd be spending most of today at the film location, either watching her Mum and Gareth Dacre practice their lines and blocking or waiting around for the director and the local crew to decide what they were going to do next.

Would they be shooting today? She'd learned that she could tell by the way her mother made herself up when she came out of the bathroom. If her mother brushed and combed her hair and used just a little make-up, they'd probably be filming. If, on the other hand, she was giving interviews or only rehearsing, she'd use more makeup. Her Mum came out with her hair brushed and wearing just a little lipstick.

"We'll be shooting today," she said.

Julia wondered if the film crew would be shooting indoors or outside. She found that being out in the sun could be brutal and even being in the shade was unpleasant. She'd perspired a lot and had drunk gallons of water. She'd also sampled what the Yanks called ice tea and decided that it was not only delicious but appropriate.

So where was Julia looked around the common part of their suite, then asked the loaded question: "Where's Derrick?".

"I think he's sleeping in," her Mum replied. "I don't think he wants to come out to the set. He might come by later." Julia would be just as happy if Derrick hopped on a plane and flew back to Britain. But that wasn't likely: her mother loved him and he'd come over as part of her entourage.

"Are we eating downstairs?" she asked.

"No, Love, Mr. I think we'll be eating at the set," said her Mum. "I think we'll start shooting some scenes today. Mr. Pugh wants to have some footage to play with. There should be some sort of canteen on the set."

Julia rolled her eyes. The glamorous life of movie and television production, she thought. Pre-packaged pastries washed down with coffee, juice, and maybe some bottled water. She frowned. The food truck did have some fruit, but the bananas were not only still green but badly bruised.

Well I'd better get going, she thought, and returned to her bedroom to put some clothes on.

A short time later, Julia and her Mum stepped out of the elevator and out onto the Settles' ground floor. It was early: Julia made a little prayer of thanks that the paparazzi weren't out and that her Mum and the rest of the Legend's cast and crew had a clear shot to the shuttle bus that would take them to the location.

The set was located somewhere out in the country. Julia had no idea as to where and suspected that Daria probably had no idea either. It took the driver the better part of an hour to get there. It was located on someone's stock farm and had security of sorts to keep the gawkers away: a barbed-wire fence, a parked automobile and a couple of bored-looking Muggle security guards dressed in uniform and a sign that said KEEP OUT. One of the guards nodded and waved them on through.

The bus stopped and everyone got out. Julia was not a farm girl and had no idea what the names for the different buildings were. She did know that her Mum would grab something to eat from the canteen, then disappear into one of the trailers to be made up into Bonnie Connolly, the expatriate Irishwoman that the Earl met, then married during his short life out here as a stock farmer.

Rancher, she corrected herself. The Yanks called stock farmers ranchers.

She fell in behind her Mom and ordered a pastry called a Danish, then an orange juice and a cup of coffee, which she promptly diluted with a lot of milk. Her Mom kissed her good-bye and headed for the trailer. She'd come out in costume and wearing makeup. Julia then started looking for someplace to wait. Someone had shown the cast and crew some mercy and set up an open-air tent. Most of the seats were taken, but Julia found a folding chair that hadn't been and promptly sat down.

She wasn't alone. There were a couple of older people who looked like they might be part of the local film crew or their dependents. A girl seated close to her shifted her chair, then muttered "Damnit!" when she knocked over her drink.

"Sorry," said the girl.

"That's all right," said Julia.

The girl was brown-haired and was wearing a tee, shorts, and what Americans called a ball cap. "You one of the students?" she asked.

"No, my Mum's one of the actresses," said Julia.

"Corrine Beckley," said the girl. "I'm a film student at UT Austin. I've got an uncle who's part of the local film crew and got me in here to watch. His boss says I can watch as long as I stay out of the way and don't sell any pictures to the tabloids."

"Would you?" said Julia.

"Nope," Corrine replied. "I'd likely get caught and that would mess up my chances of getting work with a real film unit after I graduate."

"How about you?"

"I'm here to watch and soak up the ambiance," Julia replied.

"Well, there's not that much ambiance," said Corrine. "This is mostly cattle country, although some people raise goats. There's a couple of pump jacks on the other side of those hills over there except that you can't hear them right now because they're not pumping. There's also some snakes."

Snakes! Julia made an involuntary eep. "What sorts?" she said nervously.

"Most of them are harmless, although there are some rattlers and a couple of people say that they've seen coral snakes. Those can be lethal. They've got red and yellow and black stripes. There's another species that look like them, but they're harmless. The way you can tell the coral snakes from the other type is by color-coding. Red and yellow, kill a fella."

"I see," said Julia, feeling thoroughly unnerved. "Thank you."

Corrine might have said more, but she saw someone waving at her. "Nice meeting you," she said quietly, then left.

Julia glanced around the ground but saw no snakes. She decided to stand up and see what her Mum was doing. She arrived at her Mum's trailer just in time to see her Mum emerge dressed as her character dressed in character.

"Having fun?" asked her Mum.

"I'm meeting some of the locals," said Julia. "They're—interesting."

"Well, the director wants to talk to me and Gareth about something," said her Mum. Julia walked with her mother as far as the director's tent, then turned away when she saw Gareth Dacre. Gareth was attractive, but her was much, much older than she was and was supposed to be involved with someone his own age. She turned away and walked back to her own tent to read her book and wait.

Fifteen minutes later, she looked up from her book and heard some shouting. For a moment she wondered if her Mum had lost it about something, but her Mum wasn't the one doing the shouting. Instead, it was the director, Oswald Wheatley, who was the shouting. She then wondered if the director was angry with her Mum, but then overheard the director giving the script-writer a savage bollicking.

"YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" he shouted. "Don't you know ANYTHING about this part of the world? Your script shows that you don't know a d_n bloody thing about this country or the cattle boom or what conditions were like over a century ago?"

"I majored in American history," replied a quieter voice. "I specialized in industrialization and the labor movement in the New England textile mills."


Julia snickered. She had never been to New England, but she doubted that this place looked anything like that part of America.

"Not so much," the script-writer conceded.

"Not so much? Not very much, he says!" shouted the director. "I'd say NOT ONE DAMN BIT! YOU'RE OUT!"

"Beg pardon?" said the script-writer.


Author's Notes:

A few reminders: Julia's mother is an actress working in the Muggle world. The film crew is rolling footage somewhere out in rural Howard County, Texas.

In this AU Potter universe, "Mundie" is a slang term for non-magical humans. It has supplanted the Rowling canon term "No-Maj" by the mid-1980's.

This story is set during the summer of 1991. Harry Potter still lives with his aunt and uncle in Surrey. The Morgendorffers are living in Highland, Texas, and Highland, Texas is undergoing the unpleasant effects of the oil bust.