Got Kidnapped By a Mass Murderer & All I Got Was This Stupid Boyfriend

The "'Lily, I have to tell you something really important and if I don't tell you now I will never get the chance. I lo–' [explosion] AU" was given to me by jilychallenge for jilytober and this was probably meant to be angsty but it quickly turned into humor/angst (it's a thing). Shoutout to scaredofrobots for the long (yet hilarious) title that gives away the entire plot.