Harry Potter: The Self Amused Wizard

"Harry looked down at his feet moodily. He'd been happily doing the dishes and watching the telly over the sink when the doorbell had rang. And that was no fun. Now he had to remember the name of Pierce or Piss or whatever he was called." In which Harry is more self-amused, snarky, and moody. Also not an idiot. Now with 100% more excitement. And bacon.