My Life Would Run Much More Smoothly
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Summary
A collection of vignettes featuring Donald Mallard and Cassandra Talmadge. Not a sequel, just snippets. No plot, so don't worry that it's not complete. Will probably never be complete; Sandy won't shut up.
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Characters
My Life Would Run Much More Smoothly
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167.8k words
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- #1 We Have Engaged The Borg
- #2 Life Is Too Precious And Marriage
- #3 My Husband And I
- #4 I Am Suffering From
- #5 Delusions Are Often Functional
- #6 Don't Get Mad Get One Up
- #7 Sleep Is for the Weak And Sickly
- #8 Little Pitchers Have Big Ears
- #9 True Terror Is To Wake Up One Morning
- #10 Kids Will Drive You Crazy
- #11 Money Can't Buy Happiness
- #12 We, The Unwilling, Led By The Unknowing
- #13 Klingon Diplomatic Corps
- #14 Cats Don't Ask Cats Take
- #15 The Careful Application Of Terror
- #16 If You Can Ask the Question
- #17 Rules, Schmules
- #18 Pardon My Eccentricities
- #19 I Like You
- #20 If You Think I'm Strange You Should See
- #21 Logic Is A Wreath Of Pretty Flowers
- #22 Come Over To The Dark Side
- #23 Lack Of Planning On Your Part
- #24 Sick And Tired
- #25 Thanksgiving Is An Emotional Holiday
- #26 My Cat Is Smarter
- #27 Santa Claus Has The Right Idea
- #28 The Truth Will Set You Free
- #29 It's Scary To Think That People Who Read
- #30 You're Never Too Old To Learn Something
- #31 Hate You, Hate Oz
- #32 Conscience Is The Inner Voice That Warns
- #33 There Are Two Means Of Refuge
- #34 Christmas, Christmas Time Is Here
- #35 Incredible As It Seems, My Life Is Based
- #36 If You Love Something, Set It Free
- #37 When The Kids Are Quiet—It's Too Late
- #38 Semantics, Schmantics
- #39 Madness Takes Its' Toll
- #40 Don't Think I'm Helpless
- #41 Chapter 41
- #42 Knowledge Is Knowing A Tomato Is A Fruit
- #43 If You're Looking For Trouble
- #44 In This World There Are No Answers
- #45 I Brake For Bookstores
- #46 I Love Cooking With Wine
- #47 Time Flies Like An Arrow
- #48 Speak Softly and Wear a Loud Shirt
- #49 I'm Not Nearly As Think As You Confused
- #50 I Never Get Lost Because
- #51 My Pets Aren't Spoiled
- #52 I Drive Like You Do
- #53 Follow That Car! I Can't Believe
- #54 Who Stopped the Payment
- #55 If You're Skating On Thin Ice
- #56 Natter and Grommish
- #57 Revenge is a Dish Best Served Microwaved
- #58 A Word Used In Place
- #59 I Heart Nihilism
- #60 Anything Free Is Worth What You Paid
- #61 The Gods Love Heroes They Also Love
- #62 Everyone Is Entitled To Be Stupid
- #63 We Never Really Grow Up, We Only Learn
- #64 Friends Help You Move
- #65 Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis
- #66 Education Is When You Read The Fine
- #67 A Lady Should Be Mentioned
- #68 Can You Top This? No--But Thank You
- #69 I Can Please Only One Person Per Day
- #70 Old Hippies Never Die
- #71 My Kid Swindled Your Honor Student
- #72 Fair Winds and Following Seas
- #73 I'm Going Crazy Want to Come Along?
- #74 Is That N like November?
- #75 Give Me A Quarter And I'll Tell You
- #76 The More People I Meet the Better I Like
- #77 That's Not Writing, That's Typing
- #78 Quoth the Passive Aggressive Raven
- #79 I Disagree With What You Say
- #80 Starkle, Starkle, Little Twink
- #81 A Closed Mouth Gathers No Foot
- #82 Those Who Can Read And Don't
- #83 Very Funny Scotty Now Beam Down
- #84 On the Keyboard of Life Always Keep One
- #85 Thanks For Calling Customer Service
- #86 I'm not breaking the rules
- #87 If It Weren't For Bad Luck, Some People
- #88 Life Is Not About Waiting For The Storm
- #89 Reality Is Just An Opinion
- #90 Women Are Proof That Practice Makes
- #91 This Lesson Is Brought to You
- #92 A Rose By Any Other Name
- #93 Out of the Mouths of Babes
- #94 I Know You Believe You Understood
- #95 It's Not Hard To Meet Expenses—They're
- #96 When Just a Double Take Won't Do
- #97 The Art Of Telling Someone
- #98 Christmas Time Is Here, By Golly
- #99 All Things Are Relative
- #100 If Santa Is Real, Why Are All The Gift
- #101 When You Burn The Roast, Don't Call It
- #102 Coffee Isn't a Matter of Life and Death
- #103 Let's Not Meet By Accident
- #104 Never Attribute to Malice What Can
- #105 Obviously You're Unable To Assimilate
- #106 Work Is Where You Go Home Is Where They
- #107 Last Time We Mixed Religion and Politics
- #108 Will Build Thermonuclear Devices
- #109 Vegetables Aren't Food Vegetables Are
- #110 Junk Food Would Be a Lot Easier
- #111 One Door Closes, Another Door Opens
- #112 I May Look Like I'm Doing Nothing
- #113 A Rose By Any Other Name Still Has Thorn
- #114 I Hope My Wedding's As Good As What I
- #115 I'm Not a Morning Person I'm not
- #116 If You Obey All the Rules, You Miss All
- #117 Due to a Shortage of Robots
- #118 Who Knew That the Hardest Part of Being
- #119 Facts Do Not Cease to Exist Because They
- #120 As Far As I'm Concerned, I'm Delightful
- #121 Keep the Books Burn the Censors
- #122 For Those of You Who Cannot Be With
- #123 When I Am Bored, I Send a Random Text
- #124 Right Now I'm Having Amnesia and Déjà Vu
- #125 It is Absurd to Divide People Into Good
- #126 Don't Look Back—You're Not Going That
- #127 You're Only Given a Little Spark
- #128 I Like the Way Your Mind Malfunctions
- #129 Broken Cookies Have No Calories—They All
- #130 We Have Enough Youth How About
- #131 Prior Planning Pays