Cold but Alive

There were tears in my eyes, I think. Not many. I almost ran out of them the day before, when I got the news. Threw the phone at the wall. Almost broke it. Screamed. Shut the hell up. She's not dead. Shut up. She can't die. If she can't die, pinch yourself and wake the hell up. If she can't die, why isn't she here? If she can't die, why are you crying?