The Angst Parody to End All Angst Parodies

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! THE VASTLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE ENORMITY OF MY EPIC AMOUNTS OF GRIEF CAN ONLY BE EXPRESSED IN LARGE, HARD TO READ LETTERS! OH GOD, NO! AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS! AND UNNECESSARY INTERSPERSIONS OF THE WORD NO! OH GOD, NO!