Harry Potter and the Unfortunate Lack of Plotholes

After time and rather too much thought I have decided to try re-writing the series without the plotholes of the original version. Of course, being me it became a bit sardonic and so it is as much a parody as anything else. Expect humor, violence, and the logical consequences of one's actions. Take notice that I am working from the books and not the movies or common fanon ideas.