Harry Potter and the Slightly Suggestive Handshake

In order to increase 'the power the Dark Lord knows not,' Dumbledore gives baby Harry a powerful love potion. This bold move results in...unusual consequences. Witness Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Boy-Who-Caught-the-Snitch-Two-Times, and Boy-Who-Conquered-Voldemort-But-Did-Not-Kill-Him at his very best...which is considerably less impressive than everyone expects. AU.