Forgive me. I am not worthy, but I beg you, please. Forgive me

The story of Harry Potter retold. Some people have been sorted differently and it has very interesting results. Because dividing children into groups based on characters traits that don't even begin to cover the diversity of their personality by an old, singing hat makes you doubt the Founders intelligence. And because that's what I would have done, had I been that hat.

Dear Diary, I cannot begin to comprehend humans...I think, of all mortals, they know the grief of death best...His death was meaningless... Carried in memories of the living...By both those dead and those alive...He should have seen it coming...Rarely mortals welcome me...As if dying is an inside joke...He does not fight me when I come...Oh, how much he fears me... Death