Scorpius Malfoy accidentally stumbles into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom...and finds out more than he'd have ever thought about his father in his Hogwarts days. A funny oneshot with Scorpius and Myrtle. No "romance", mind you.

So what does he do when he sees all those odes to HIM, the Slytherin sex god? And when he finds himself paired with that nasty Granger girl, his MOTHER?...and Potter! Why, he reacts, of course! Alludes to existing fics & rated T for suggestive material..

A few deserved words from each of the short lives of some of the most loved and hated people in the series.

Mr. Greengrass is Lucius Malfoy's schoolmate, colleague, peer, and longtime friend. Of course Mr. Greengrass does not think his daughter's future father-in-law is a prissy, spoiled, and odiously heavy-handed sycophant.

We see Asteria just the once at the platform with Draco and Scorpius, with no mention of how she came to love and be loved by the most pitied/adored antagonist of all Potterverse. She was two years younger, virtually unknown to us...and what about Pansy?

One day, Pansy Parkinson shares her collection of pick-up lines she reserves just for her dear Draco. Notice how they may be merely besotted suck-up lines. Prepare to be utterly stunned by her sheer cleverness and creative wit...NOT.

One day, Crabbe and Goyle decide to write down twenty of the most ingenious and useful things they've ever picked up in life. Prepare to be blown away by their sheer brilliance.

One day, Percy takes it into his head to jot down the humorous things he comes up with and store them for future use. Prepare to be blown away by his sheer funnyness.