Dumbledore tries to tell Harry he's a champion. Silly, juvenile, and with utterly foul language. Based on a video that makes me laugh. Rated M for a very good reason.

Harry spends some time contemplating the events of his third year at Hogwarts while he recovers from his end-of-year adventure in the Hospital Wing. The conclusions he draws and the course of action he decides on will change the course of his life forever.

After spending most of the night worrying about how he's going to survive the Triwizard Tournament, Harry has a desperate idea; what if he makes some more polyjuice potion, and instead of using a sample from a human, he uses a feather from a phoenix? Warning, contains Ron bashing.