After doing a report on the Bacchanalia for school, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny decide to recreate the ritual for themselves. But you can't always predict the outcomes of crazed, drunken orgies. And dealing with the aftermath might leave the boys broken. For, as they say, "Veritas in Vino." The truth comes out in wine. Yeah...the truth hurts. Style, Bunny, and Candy.

Each of them was prepared. They all wanted this. The son of a noble disgraced. A young wizard weighed down by hope. An urchin boy who deserved no second chances. And a girl neither starved nor stuffed. They were prepared, yes; they thought so. But fate had other ideas.

I didn't know it—I didn't know him—but he would soon become my whole world. Who could blame me? I was young. And young girls cannot control their feelings for boys. Something I intended to teach him. Oh yes, I would teach him. I comforted myself with that thought as he lit the fire and barred the door.

AU: Harry never had an Aunt Petunia. There was no blood-relative to carry on his mother's spell. But the best protection is anonymity, and no one would expect the vanquisher of the Dark Lord to be living in a back alley with the rats. Fighting tooth and nail—kill or be killed—Harry raised himself. He is not sweet. He is not innocent. And his time at Hogwarts will show that.

Stan and Kyle are super best friends. Nothing can change that. Well, that's what they thought. But when Bebe throws a party and starts up a game of drunk truth or dare, their relationship is tested in ways Stan never expected.