The memoirs, musings and meanderings of Malfoy Senior, written during his final year as a free man. Read all about his evil scheming, the train crash that is his love life, and, most importantly, his image problems.

Mercilessly mocks the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie. Obscenity and profanity and shipping wars - oh my!

Lucius Malfoy experiences a severe mental breakdown after his release from Azkaban.

What is left, when the brightest flame burns out?

You may not eat fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.

You are Bellatrix Black. You are not afraid of anything.

An obsession that destroys everything it touches.

‘A feast of righteous anger, razor-sharp wit, and fictitious ramblings. Blends nonsensical musings with low-brow immaturity and perverse lustful speculation. I, personally, would never miss such lulz.’ – From a review by Charles Dickens

During his stay in Azkaban, Lucius Malfoy was interviewed by a hapless reporter from the Daily Prophet.

Lucius muses on the matter of her eyes.

A.k.a. Hermione Granger and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Extracs the urine from the PoA movie. Total Crack and utterly obscene content.

Ginny Weasley will do anything to forget her past. Anything and everything. GWRL, GWTR, GWLM. WARNING Self harm, cross gen sex, hints of non con, under age drinking and self induced vomiting. Enjoy!