“What on earth is a Snape? And why does it sound like a bad thing?” Snape wondered. “Snape represents a certain point in middle aged wizards when you lose all cleanliness, fun, and hair,” quipped Wormtail. OOH, SNAPE GOT PWNED.

“Harry, I regret to inform you that you are the final Horcrux of Voldemort. Do you realize what this means?” Harry slowly nodded. “Time to buy life insurance.”

“Yo momma is so fat she-” And there we were. Me and Granger. Exchanging “Yo Momma” jokes.

THIS STORY IS DANGEROUS. IT HAS CAUSED NUMEROUS PEOPLE TO BE KICKED OUT OF LIBRARIES, RECEIVE STRANGE LOOKS FROM FAMILY MEMBERS, AND GO CLINICALLY INSANE. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, READ THIS STORY. ESPECIALLY NOT CHAPTER 19.

As long as we have each other, everything will be okay.' 'How do you know' 'Just believe me.' 'Do you believe yourself' The man paused. 'When I tell you I love you.' Romance with a terrible twist.

My name is Peter Pettigrew, and I approve this message. I hereby proclaim myself a gangsta. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Oneshot. Some things never die. Love is one of them. Warning: character suicide

Oneshot. A wave of acne sweeps through Hogwarts! No one can escape! What will they do?

The teaching staff of Hogwarts had love polygons... And then there was Draco Malfoy.

Oneshot, Complete! Hilarious story about Dumbledore involving him getting chased by a chihuahua, a raging bull, a women's nightdress, and an army of McGonagalls! Please read and review!

Don't read this story. Just don't. This was my very first pathetic attempt at angst. If you are looking at this, go read my other stories. They are a lot better.