In which Hermione turned out to be Sirius Black's daughter, the Veil revealed itself to be a presumptuous piece of magical portal, Tom Riddle proved to be a constantly discontent toddler, and Wizarding World of the 1920s ended up in a state of perpetual scandalisation of epic proportions. Fifth year on. AU from top to bottom. Tomione. Halfblood!(maybe)Hermione. Essentially CRACK.

She never expected to fall in love with him. He had an emotional range of a tree bark. And yet, somehow, somewhere along the way, they found out that compromise wasn't that much of a hassle, after all. And then Mikasa came into the picture. (Or maybe she had never left)