Aragorn finds out Legolas' most shameful, darkest secret: he writes fanfiction. But not just any kind of fanfiction, of course, but the kind that would make any sensible person blush. And he's not the only one writing them...
Some euphemisms differ in British and American English. Hilarity ensues.
Albus, influenced by muggle culture, wonders what wizards wear underneath their robes after noticing that other students don't don trousers.
Hermione wakes up one summer night to see a mob of Death Eaters terrorizing London.