"Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action," Ian Fleming. What if someone didn't take Albus' word of "harmless pranks" as Merlin-given gospel, but took a distraught boy's plea with the seriousness it deserves? AU to the Marauder's sixth year "prank," where everything's the mostly same, though Severus Snape's home-life is vastly different from canon.

Death, aka Azra'eil, has given his second-in-command, Ezekiel, a task: To change the course of history for the betterment of humanity. Of course that's easy. Note the sarcasm. Hopefully he'll get the help needed for this, or there is going to be some ridiculously powerful beings after his ass. No pressure. At all.