Tigwit (alias Feren) grows tired of his job as Thranduil's gatekeeper and decides to pursue a career in music, but his many money-making schemes seldom go as planned.

Orc Pegrun finds one of the 7 dwarf rings and gets a single chance from Galadriel to help Middle-Earth; by feeding the ring to one of the only dragons left. But that means a jaunt to Mordor with a highly-allergic she-Haradrim, a bookish hobbit, and a kleptomaniacal dwarf and maladjusted elf who both plan to kill him when its over. June TA 3018.