For strong stomachs only: a Lucius Malfoy love story. As nasty as we expect him to be.

I wrote this one when in a rage with the ridiculously pedantic attitude of ahem! another fanfic site. If you have ever been driven to distraction by the ridiculous pedantry of others, this one is for you!

Two lovers. Two bodies. The wrong mind in the wrong body.

A follow-up to MARY SUE AT HOGWARTS. Why was Mary Sue ever sent to Hogwarts, seeing how things ended up? The answer is in the one riddle at Hogwarts that not even Dumbledore can read: the Book.

For a long time, the name Mary Sue has stood for everything that Hogwarts girls most hate to be. But who was the original Mary Sue? And why did she get such a bad name?

A superheroine turns up in Hogwarts. What does she want there? And why does Professor McGonagall speak of fallen angels?

Hey, you! Yes, I mean you! Wanna see the absolute, not-a-doubt-in-the-world, unbeatable CRAZIEST ship of all time? Well, come in, then!

The future is not nice. Lord Voldemort is near the top again, and so are even his worst friends. But then one of them happens to push her husband too far... and to get the wrong skivvy. You never can get the staff, can you?

There is a time of which wizards do not like to talk...

Dance for joy, Dance for fun, Dance to save your life in the sun; Dance the night, Dance the day, Dance to put a Death Eater away!

...and Lord Voldemort comes to read her books.

Beauty can kill you. Superhuman beauty will.

There are nights that seem made on purpose to sing one's heart out to the woman you love. There are nights in which it is all too easy to get your heart broken.