Remus steals Sirius from Azkaban. It's sort of an accident. One shot, complete.
College AU. Sakura moves to a new town to attend university and desperately needs to find a cheap room in a share house. Luckily, the Akatsuki need a new housemate. (Or: the one where Itachi is a starving law student, Kakashi is teaching professional ethics and Pein is a hipster barista. Also there's a really scarring incident involving Hidan and a goat.) Violence, sexual themes.
Peace does not work out well for Tenten. She decides to forge a new life very far away, but to start with she's gonna need some help... Crack. Kakuzu/Tenten. Raised the rating for violence and swearing.
"We are a detective agency," Remus says. He's checked: legally, he can call two people and a closet-sized office an 'agency'. A starving agency, if they don't get some work soon. Lucius Malfoy looks around their closet as though he very much doubts that. "So I see," he says, in a tone that indicates that he very much does not. [Sirius/Remus, detective AU, prompt fill, two-shot.]
Hermione receives the diary. Neither she, nor Tom, is what the other was expecting. [Origin story for a dark Hermione. This is not a romance. Canon AU.]
A dystopian future that is decidedly not one where the Death Eaters win.
He found Aunt Petunia sitting pale and distraught on the spotless kitchen tiles, gibbering as that evening's chicken dinner did a rather acrobatic tap-dancing lap of the room, squawked loudly, and then fled. [Harry raises the dead. It's less useful than you'd think. Eventual slash, canon AU, rating very likely to rise.]
Harry, during one of his semi-regular tussles with the Dark Lord, is bitten by a vampire. He …does not adjust that well.
When Pansy and Hermione get sent back in time, it's definitely Pansy's fault. If she hadn't been mucking about in potions class — Hermione tells her this, at length. [Time travel, short, one-shot.]
Maybe they're all terrorists and criminals, but not a one of them is so broken that he cannot yet form bonds. [Experimental. One-shot. Pairing is Hidan/Deidara. Some references to self harm, etc.,]
The Horcrux in Harry's head wakes up and begins talking to Harry long before he's ever heard the name Voldemort. Philosopher's Stone AU. Warnings for some instances of child abuse. No pairings. COMPLETE.
Who knows what potential remains in Kakuzu's corpse? You could hardly call him human, after all.
This is a side-story to my current monstrous college AU "The Natural Habitat of Haruno Sakura". Sakura's underpants are missing and she's forced to put the remaining shreds of her dignity on the line to locate them. It's not really looking good for our hero.
At age ten, an unexpected encounter changes Ino's perspective (and sets her on the path to growing up way more badass).
In which Tsunade suspects she might be a little too drunk. Experience tells her that she'll probably be embarrassed about that at some point - getting wasted at important diplomatic events is kind of a faux pas for the Hokage. Either way, she has no idea how she ends up crowding Konan back against a giant polished marble credenza. [Femslash, yuri. This is a plot-free zone.]
In which Kisame refuses Obito's recruitment speech and leaves Mist to find his real calling. Crack. No pairings.
In which there are almost-certainly-forbidden jutsu, Itachi is trying to have a peaceful afterlife, Sasuke loses his mind (probably), Tsunade is out of sake and being Hokage is the worst job ever. (Occasional horror themes. Silliness now continues with a second chapter about Sasuke learning to... adjust.)
In which Zelgadis explores a temple looking for clues to a cure. Xellos decides to come with him, which in hindsight should probably be his first clue that it's all going to go pear shaped. Lina's hungry. There are monsters. Things explode. No pairings. Horror elements, comedy elements.