Voldemort never existed. After Hogwarts, Remus and Sirius moved in together into a flat in South London. Theirs is a life of drink, cheap women and all night benders. DJ Dogboy and the Rock n' Roll Milkman.
Lily and James have been dead a long time. They now reside in a nice little semi in the afterlife, lodgers of Death. When their former school friends turn up, is there enough room for everyone?
Grimmauld is a lonely place. That's probably what drives people who are trapped there because they're the most wanted man in the country to drink. Oh yes.
It's Henry Hotpot's sixth year at wizard school, and Lord Voldienuts is anxious to uphold his rep as the ultimate evil dude. Ever wondered what went through his mind during that year? No? Well here it is anyway.