Hermione discovers that after a night of spectacular drunkeness she's pregnant with Draco's child. Witness the horror of well... everyone, count the number of people who pass out and behold the amusement of everybody else! Rated R for language.

Lily tries to commit suicide only to be saved by Sirius, who then tells her something she'd rather not know. Will their friendship be destroyed or is this the beginning of something even more destructive? PG13 for swearing and suicidal themes.