Nuclear war breaks out and Voldemort casts a spell to stop time. He and Harry alone are left to defuse the missiles and prevent the war. Voldemort’s radiophobic. Oh joy. LVHP. Spoilers for HBP, none for DH.

Voldemort is imprisoned and tortured. Harry visits him and gets off with him. Torture, swearing, sexual references. HPGW, RWDM, HPLV.

Neither side won the war. A glum Voldie follows Harry and wishes that things could change. HPLV, pretentious.

As punishment for his misdeeds, Voldemort is buried alive in a steel coffin a mile beneath the ocean. HPLV.

You should always watch out for eleven year old girls. We might grow up to become writers. Femslash: Ginny Weasley and Blaise Zabini's mum.

“Death” falls in love with Harry, and sends him cobwebs, thorns and snakes to win his affection. HPLV. Mild injury, sexual content, slash and PPP: Pretentious Purple Prose.

Harry attempts suicide by jumping off the Astronomy Tower, and accidentally impales Voldemort by landing on top of him. Despite the summary, this is not crack. Violence, attempted suicide, self mutilation, swearing. HPLV.

Dumbledore decrees that the members of each of the Hogwarts Quidditch teams must share a bed in order to improve their teamwork. It works, in manner of speaking. Slash, femslash, het.

Voldemort Transfigures Harry into a donkey. It’s a pity he didn’t take Ali Bashir a bit more seriously.

Harry’s a self mutilator. He’s surprised to find that Seamus seems to be, too. Warnings: positive and humorous presentation of self mutilation. Doesn't make sense unless you've read books 5 and 6, and, I must admit, possibly not even then.

Professor McGonagall wants Harry to find the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Written for the Spam Sender challenge at Perposterice.

The final confrontation between the Trio and Voldemort. Harry’s late.