John Egbert and his friends have only been to one other carnival, but they were pretty sure it was nothing like this.

John eats a red Popsicle. Karkat is aroused by this. Slash.

Dave Strider was a cool guy, and cool guys don't panic. Even when waking up chained and naked in their enemy's bed, they keep calm. After all, cool guys never lose their cool.

John has an important appointment to attend to. Unfortunately for him, Sollux decides there is a price for leaving his house early.

John Egbert is lonely after the death of his father. He hates how silent his house is without Dad, ironically hates the lack of Betty Crocker baking in the oven. This is what led him to decide to buy a fish. Nothing complicated, just your everyday run-of-the-mill fish. This is how he did not get his beloved fish, but an abused and angry troll instead. Damn Jade to Hell.

Or "The Three Times John Caught Karkat Hurting and the One Time He Wasn't Stupid About It". Slash.

Uh. Why was a fictional scene of you and Karkat making out in here?

Karkat was there for the birth of the universe, just as he was there for the death of his.

Just because Kankri is celibate doesn't mean he's asexual. Damara learns this firsthand.

Medievalstuck. In which Dave is part of Skaia's police force, Sollux is a magical hermit who lives in the woods, Terezi is a powerful advisor with a secret outside of the Kingdom, and romance happens against Dave's will.

Karkat Vantas is a fallen angel on his way to becoming a demon. With the help of one John Egbert, who was forced to marry Karkat and used to be Karkat's job while he was still a guardian angel, he attempts to save one-hundred sinners so he can re-ascend to Heaven. And hey, if they fall in love on the way, what's to stop them? Everything, apparently.

If there's one thing that scares John Egbert, it's an angry troll. Of course, that might be partly because he's incessantly bullied by a group of trolls in school, but luckily for him, he has an online friend perfectly angry to help. Now if only he could keep his friends from dating the aliens, things might be alright. Or would be, if it wasn't for Karkat Vantas.

So it's like smoking hot over here in the shitstain of Texas and I think I'm actually starting to sweat my skin off. No joke, the liquids I'm dripping? Not sweat. It's actually melted flesh rolling down the sexy contours of my exposed muscles. This is TurntechGodhead, and welcome to Sburb.

John and Karkat end up with their alternate selves, who are still in the earliest stages of life. They have no choice but to raise the human and troll as their own, discovering the others' have similar clones of themselves as well. But sometimes, strange things work out for the best. Adults teach kids how to grow up, and kids teach adults what it means to stay together forever.