"Listen, teenage rebellion, self-discovery and petty crimes are fine, but can everyone just avoid dabbling in the Dark Arts this year?" -Theo Nott, 1998...It's time for Theo's (reluctant) glow-up amidst Slytherin House's post-war evolution.

After returning to Hogwarts for the 1998-1999 school year, Hermione is subjected to ADHD!Astoria Greengrass in all her IDGAF glory. But there's a hell of a lot more to both of them than labels and judgments, and it's high time we cast a Banishing Charm at the desire to pit smart girls against each other.

Did anyone really think Pansy Parkinson would be that easily subdued? She knows how to rise up from the dead; you could say she does it all the time. Featuring semi-reformed Slytherins, struggling to figure life out, squad goals, a serious case of arrested development, cauldrons full of snark, and a relationship that no one saw coming. Endgame is Charlie/Pansy.

Tracey has developed a reputation for being the antithesis of cheerfulness and kindness, but when everything changes and she returns to re-do seventh year, a few Hufflepuffs decide befriending her would be a worthy challenge.

The morning after a drunken party in her last term at school, Hermione wakes up in Slytherin and has a frank conversation with Astoria Greengrass about the post-war world.

Make no mistake, Pansy and Theo aren't heroes. But they call upon their Slytherin values to make it through the Carrows' regime, and if anyone else benefits, well, it's not their concern.