Fresh from a confidence-shattering encounter with Snape, displeased with his progress on the Dark Lord's assignment, a depressed and beleaguered Draco seeks comfort in the tender arms of the flame-haired girl of his dreams.

Unspeakble injuries inflicted by their snackboxes are a tender subject for Fred and George. But when Hermione stumbles upon them, they see her as a potential savior- and perhaps something more. Now, how to properly thank her for services rendered...

Can Hogwarts's most beloved Squib cope with the excruciating loss of his imp-like little friend? Or will the pain drive him mad- well, more so than before- and force him to resort to... desperate measures? Dobby/Filch- and the title is a regrettable pun.