IT'S DARE! This is possibly the silliest songfic ever made. Rated for provocative dancing, molestation of suits of armour and singing ghosts.

The scariest Harry Potter script this side of the Thames. If you're British, you'll understand that this is a very bad spoof of the soap Eastenders Not suitable for sensible, normal people.

My kind don't usually breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it...how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child...

It's Rose Weasley's fifth year at Hogwarts, and she surprises even herself by discovering she has feelings for what everyone thought would be an unlikely choice... or not? Rated T just in case