By now you should recognise this story as the millionth series in that infamous saga, The Pureblood Antics of Lucius Malfoy. This time, as I noticed a trend, I've renamed it to include the hairobsession. HBP spoilers.

Severus Snape is a bad detective and he always gets his man. Draco has contracted an unfortunate alliance, and Snape goes to extreme measures attempting to prevent it. In some ways a crossover with PG Wodehouse's works. Written for the trousersnaco challe

Welcome to the triumphant, or not so triumphant, comeback of this knickerspoilingly exciting story, which, as ever, seeks to document the activities of everybody's favourite evil, snobistic, and especially blond, wizard. Warning: HBP Spoilers occur.

The dashing Don L is come to Hogwarts to display his heroism and to free the rich and privileged from the oppressive grip of the poor and less well-bred. Who shall be his targets? Who is the object of his affections? And what is his real identity?

The fifth series of The Story That Will Not Die, and it brings you everything you want so, so much; idiocy, gratuitous slash suggestions, filth, decadence, blond hair, and, of course, absolute pleasure.

Snape has a dark, succulent secret. And you’ll never, ever guess what it is. Go on, have a peep inside. You know you’re just aching to find out. Have I roused your curiosity yet, or do you need further man-handling to be enticed to enter, dear reader?

The racy madness continues, as the splendidly gorgeous Lucius Malfoy and his sardonic sidekick, Severus Snape, embark on yet another hilariously warped sequal, now the fourth, of this rather persistent story.

Our golden boys, Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy, work together to execute the greatest plan ever made to take over the world while in the service of Lord Voldemort. As always, rather politically incorrect, but rather entertaining, in my superior opinion.

Welcome, gentle reader. By now you should have realised that the stories contained within this volume are part of a humungous series of heroic epics about none other than the ever charming L. Malfoy and his lovely sidekick, S. Snape.

An adaptation of the story "Go, dog, go" into more Lucius Malfoy-esque terms. Basically what happens if you consistently replace words with others; the story turns suitably twisted and perverse. And hopefully funny.

Join me as I stab wildly at the authors of smutty Lucius fics who daringly assume that sexual assault is pleasurable, who use rape as a plot device, and abusive!Lucius as an excuse for characterisation.

Yes, this IS part two of The Pureblooded Everyday Antics Of Lucius Malfoy. Sink your greedy little teeth in, I say, and give in, give up to your suppressed lust for idiocy.

Lucius Malfoy leads an intriguing, decadent life. Of course it takes an author like me to report of it in a series of stories that are sufficiently stupid to be entertaining to all you muggles out there.